First day of my new norm


It’s the first day of my new “norm” at home.  The beginning of a transition period not only for me but my entire family.  All my six year old knows is for Mommy to go to work and now I will be at home with her, for now at least.   I mentioned the change in my professional career in this post.

I am feeling alittle anxiety, not regret.  Just anxious that I won’t like or do this stay at home Mommy thing good enough. That “not good enough” mentality is dumb I know, but there are little snippits of my past still residing in my brain, which when released brings the doubt to the forefront.  Grasping this new life positively is doable and I know that I will.  I just need to give myself  and my family time.

Letting go of something that felt like my identity for so long isn’t easy. I really thought it wasn’t going to be that hard, then I started cleaning out my office, loading my vehicle with my professional career boxes.  It’s probably a good thing I had switched positions a year ago, it helped me to purge the hidden treasures in my desk of so many years!  Polaroids of  pranks of decorating offices of co-workers, school photos of my children that are now adults, and drawings from small children, letters from now deceased clients to me.  Bittersweet memories.  I’m so glad that person made me apply and pushed me to go to work where I did.  Almost nineteen years and alot of memories, alot of growth, I was only twenty five when I started working there.  The fourty three year old is so different, yet you get to see glimpses of the young one at times and that’s ok.

I’m a planner so, freedom of my days will be a change things.  I will be planning our home life verses my work schedule.  I will hopefully find a routine that works well for us, and not become the controlling individual that I could so easily become.  I want to spend my days loving, caring, teaching, giving  to my family, not micromanaging them.  That’s one of my goals.

Well, it’s time for me to head to town, errands to run and parks to play in.  I pray that your day is good or if you are in the middle of a transition, it is one that helps you grow, and become even more of the wonderful person Our Creator made you to be!

Grace is a gift,

Julie

new norm box

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4 thoughts on “First day of my new norm

  1. Good morning. Woke up thinking of you this morning thinking of you and wondering how you were doing. This transition isn’t going to be easy and you are going to be surprised at your emotions, but they’re normal so don’t be too hard on yourself. I retired from 21 years in the Army. I grieved, I missed the adult interaction and I got frustrated with myself, but in the hardest part was learning who my children (10 and 12 yrs old) really were. What I found I didn’t like. The child care centers had incorporated some values in them that angered me and I had to do some damage control. In the end I realized the best thing I ever did was to be there for them each and every day. At some point I had to say, “my husband will remember what a good wife he had, my children will agree and none of them will sigh a heavy sigh of regret that I didn’t make lieutenant colonel.”

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  2. Julie, I have always been a stay at home mom so I can’t relate to your transition, but I can relate to the ‘not good enough’ perception. Some of that is something we place on ourselves and some of that is something society places on us. There are lots of social stigmas at being a stay at home mom. From personal experience, I will say that they run far and deep. Recently we went through some financial struggles and needed to apply for food stamps. I was told that unless my children were under 6, I didn’t qualify because I was not ‘working a real job’. It hurt and stung deep and I’m still struggling with that somewhat. Over the years I have learned that I have to let all that go. This is where I belong right now, no matter what anyone else thinks. I will mess up. There will times when I have a bad day and I can’t leave this job and go home at the end of it. I am stuck. But like me, you can do this. All you have to be is the best mom and wife that you can. And that, along with the grace of God and a bucket full of forgiveness from your family, will be good enough. ~Crystal

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