It’s the first day of my new “norm” at home. The beginning of a transition period not only for me but my entire family. All my six year old knows is for Mommy to go to work and now I will be at home with her, for now at least. I mentioned the change in my professional career in this post.
I am feeling alittle anxiety, not regret. Just anxious that I won’t like or do this stay at home Mommy thing good enough. That “not good enough” mentality is dumb I know, but there are little snippits of my past still residing in my brain, which when released brings the doubt to the forefront. Grasping this new life positively is doable and I know that I will. I just need to give myself and my family time.
Letting go of something that felt like my identity for so long isn’t easy. I really thought it wasn’t going to be that hard, then I started cleaning out my office, loading my vehicle with my professional career boxes. It’s probably a good thing I had switched positions a year ago, it helped me to purge the hidden treasures in my desk of so many years! Polaroids of pranks of decorating offices of co-workers, school photos of my children that are now adults, and drawings from small children, letters from now deceased clients to me. Bittersweet memories. I’m so glad that person made me apply and pushed me to go to work where I did. Almost nineteen years and alot of memories, alot of growth, I was only twenty five when I started working there. The fourty three year old is so different, yet you get to see glimpses of the young one at times and that’s ok.
I’m a planner so, freedom of my days will be a change things. I will be planning our home life verses my work schedule. I will hopefully find a routine that works well for us, and not become the controlling individual that I could so easily become. I want to spend my days loving, caring, teaching, giving to my family, not micromanaging them. That’s one of my goals.
Well, it’s time for me to head to town, errands to run and parks to play in. I pray that your day is good or if you are in the middle of a transition, it is one that helps you grow, and become even more of the wonderful person Our Creator made you to be!
Grace is a gift,