Fast Forward or Slow Motion – Building my Story


As I took my morning walk, I had Pandora playing on my phone which is nothing unusal. During this time my mind normally randomly jumps from one topic to another, all inside my head.  It’s pretty busy at times, but today it was at a slower pace.  My thoughts went from fundraisers I would like to begin working on, things I needed to do at home, and landed in the area of my Savior.  The  song below came on, it was a faster version, but I found this one on Youtube and like it for this post.  Take a listen, then we’ll visit some more.

Recently my life has went from going fast full speed ahead to a slow motion mode, like when you slow down a commercial or film and it is just creeping in front of you. The beginning of the song talks about David and the lions, being pulled every direction, and trust only what you can see.  This, to me, describes  the fast forward mode I was living in.   Although most of my life I have worked outside the home, I am currently staying home. Our child is six and spends her day learning what all good first graders learn.  There are things to do, and I have my lists for around the house. Yet I am feeling as if I am a stranger within my own life.

During the time of fast forward all I longed for was a slower lifestyle.  Now that I am in the midst of that I find myself at times grasping to find how I am valid in this life  How I can push forward and begin this new course. I am not in a depression or unhappy, I just feel lost at times.  Uncertainty is not a strong suit of my personality. So here I am, at my Savior’s feet daily.  Perhaps that was His plan.  To bring me closer to Him, to take the distractions of this cacotic life and throw them out the window. To bring my eyes to the place where the foundation needs to be. HIM.

During my search on the internet I found another song from the same group.  I will leave you with it, for I feel the Lord is building a story in me that I must trust only Him to lead.  Sight unseen.  I will spend my days having conversations with him in the midst of my quiet home. I will feel lost but know that He has me covered.  Covered in his grace and He knows the plans he has for me.

Grace is a gift,

Julie

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2 thoughts on “Fast Forward or Slow Motion – Building my Story

  1. I know lost. I remember well my first few months at home. (I could say ‘years’ but I don’t want that to discourage you.) It really was like fumbling about in a completely foreign environment. I don’t have any words for the secret to coming out of that…time maybe. It certainly sounds as though you have a good plan in place though. It’s important that you’re there. Probably for many different reasons, some you’ve already seen, some you will come to see, others you may never know. It’s difficult coming to terms with the validity of being at home when the concrete outcomes you might see in the workplace, just aren’t there. It is important that you’re there though, and while I cannot explain why, (I really do think this being at home thing is something that is deeper than words can adequately describe) being able to be at home with your family, for this time, is a great thing.
    Does that make any sense? It’s supposed to be me, cheering you on…Go Julie!

    Like

    1. Heather. I thought I had commented on this! 😦 Thank you for the cheering me on! I appreciate it and need it! I love our conversations on here! It’s like I get a daily or every few days of goodness that is needed these days! Blessings my friends! 🙂

      Like

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