Traveling back but existing in the present

Once in awhile I need to travel back to the beginning to realize why I made a choice I did.  For example when feeling down and out in regards to my marriage, traveling back to the night it started to be clear I liked this man is quite helpful.  Also, having high expectations is a good way to destroy a marriage.  I learned this later rather than sooner.  Sometimes I still have high expectations but I’m much better than I used to be.  Just ask my husband! 🙂

Traveling back to review moments lost in time bring something stirring inside me.  When I ask my spouse to participate he isn’t all to anxious but if I am patient he will come through for me. (Hence the lower expectations work well and we are both happy in the end.) Hearing him recall precious moments, particular things that made him smile from years ago ignites within me overwhelming love.  It brings the love that I stuffed away and placed hurt emotions in front of.  It brings to me, in current time, the same smile I had after our first date.  I came in my house that night and the smile never left my face  – for days.  My heart felt happiness and that is what I need when I let the the hurt emotions take first place.

There are times I’d like to forget from my past as well.  Times that brought more hurt than healing, but with either we must not stay in the past.  We need to  experience and live in this time, this moment, this place.  Letting go of the moments that cause havoc and retaining just enough of the good ones to pump us full of joy once more. There can be a thin line between both, this I know. 

Perhaps when we find ourselves  settling in on the past, in one of those less than desirable moments of long ago, we can tell ourselves of this agreement.  When reaching back for the sad blackened hole, think quickly  of the sunshine piece of joy that was another time.  Of one that brought smiles, laughter, and excitement.  Balancing them out and learning from both can be beneficial I presume. 

I hope this post helps you (and me) to live in the present and enjoy what we have now.

Grace is a gift,




3 thoughts on “Traveling back but existing in the present

  1. Julie,
    I honestly believe that most people do the very best they can in a given situation with the information they have at the time. Looking back on a situation and thinking about the “what if’s” “shoulda” “coulda” “woulda” is a result of gaining more information and guilt.

    You are right we need to learn from our past, grow from our mistakes and let go. I also realize that can be a challenge. Prayer and support are a powerful combination to help us.

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. My journey is almost opposite. The beginning of my marriage doesn’t hold good memories for me, so there has never been a consolation in looking back.
    Instead of lowering my expectations, I looked forward to an awesome future marriage and strived for that. Now it is already beyond my highest expectations, not from looking back, but from looking forward. John


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