This post is husband approved. Just fyi! 🙂
We have been victims of fraud in the past. I will warn you it brought out many emotions in both my spouse and I. They included but are not limited to anger, hurt, shame, stupid feeling and more. In the midst of this life lesson it brought to the forefront those things that aren’t so pretty when a marriage doesn’t work in unison.
If you have never been a victim of fraud let me give you some perspective. It’s like when someone breaks into your home and steals things or steals your identity, and you have no control. You wake up feeling less safe, less secure, and you want to blame someone else for your foolishness, for not thinking smart. Although the person to blame is the one committing the crime, fingers can begin to be pointed in a time of such turbulence. The process of working through it is sometimes difficult but well worth the outcome for us this time. It brought growth in both my husband and I plus our marriage.
All marriages have them, those moments when you’re not so forgiving and uplifting to the other. It’s there, most don’t like to speak of it, but I will today. It’s reality here on the blog and I wouldn’t be honest if I kept it tucked away in the realms of my mind when sharing about our circumstance of fraud. The reality of it is we trusted someone who we shouldn’t have.
When I think of the internet and all its wonderful attributes to this thing we call life it makes my heart ache that there is always a black closet full of mischief as well. The opportunity for others to take advantage of people who work really hard for their money; while they sit in their home or office and scheme to not work hard. The world-wide web can connect families that live far from one another, keep friends in touch, give you inspiration, show you how to sing, diy, self-help, worship, and so much more.
Why can’t it be a safe place too? Why can’t it encompass all the glorious things this world has to offer and aid us in a life worth producing things such as giving, love, peace, and care for others. Without the black closet of fraud, stealing, porn, exploitation, and so much more? I know what you are thinking “you should have been smarter, you should have been less trustworthy.” Maybe.
I didn’t grow up in a time where we went to the butcher for our meat down the street weekly or milk was delivered to our doorstep. Not even when there was no television. But in the midst of this debacle I wish I was there. In the simple time of sending your 7-year-old to the store on the corner for sugar by themselves or having Sunday dinner with your entire family after church every single week or sitting on the porch listening to your neighbor talk about days gone by. And really listening while they spoke.
The person that committed the fraud took money from us. I still get mad when I think of it, then my thoughts go to “you should have been smarter.” But in all circumstances like this we are offered lessons to be learned and if married a growing bond.
Some of the lessons learned we’d like to share with you:
If your gut is telling you it doesn’t feel right, don’t ignore that.
Use the brains God gave you for good smart choices.
Work with your spouse, not fight them, or stand up respectfully for what you believe, be assertive.
Work as a team with your spouse, not on your own.
Don’t move into the 21st century and live in this internet world without being on guard. Life isn’t like it used to be, maybe it’s not suppose to be, but I would like to hang on to some simple times and not lose perspective.
Grace is a gift,
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