As I awoke yesterday I could feel the aches of my body greeting me. My 44 year old out of shape body not being nice to me. My mind was in a fog because of lack of sleep. The dog barking at 2am, the water heater ‘s odd noises, and my mind’s continuing thoughts overflowing were the causes that created the fog.
Before heading out, I sat with the heating pad upon the aches and read my daily devotion. Even this was slightly difficult today. But just as I raised from my bed and began the day in ache, I will continue to be in His word.
I began my regular trek around the gym on the hard concrete floor. Knowing today there would be no increase in speed, no major steps or calories burned. No music would even motivate me. As I walked I could feel and recall my less than stellar morning mood.
I recalled the devotion I had read less than an hour before. And my mind spoke the following.
Julie no matter how bad you feel, no matter how deflated you feel, God forgives the sins you already committed from the first thought you had upon waking. Pull yourself out of this deflated sad place you are heading into, for God sent his Son to endure way more, all the while for you. Do not let this mindset continue to darken your day and others.
To be honest I struggled still thereafter. On the drive home I think I could have dropped a tear or two upon my cheeks at the slightest word from my mouth. The sun shown on this warmer than normal January day, and my mood was somewhere between the sunlight and darkness.
As the day went along, it did improve. It gained momentum and was enjoyable. Then it was like I hit a brick wall when I arrived home.
I literally brought in the groceries, removed my shoes, and laid on the couch. Just laid there until I heard the screech of the bus brakes as my daughter arrived home from school. Standing on the porch watching her lifted my spirits and the evening was good.
The closer my bedtime came, the more my mood headed back to the place it began on this day. So I took my tired self and headed to bed. No one needed to be around this and there was a conversation waiting to happen between me and my Maker.
I’m leaving you with that. I have not more I can write today about this.
Grace is a gift,