I have always said I would be honest here. Today I will be blunt and tell how I’m feeling. At the moment when writing this post on Monday afternoon I feel guilty.
I know that looks like a simple thing. Folded pants in two piles on a bed, but to me it’s much more. It’s a huge amount of clothing that I can’t wear. I can’t wear due to my inability to commit or change.
I have all these perfectly good clothes that I either can’t zip or pull up or even button, all while standing up I might add!
The other reason for guilt,there are people in the USA and other countries that do not have but one or two pairs of pants to wear. That’s their total wardrobe and I have all this that is just sitting in my closet. Waiting.
These pants are waiting on me to stop the mindless eating, the processed food intake, and exercise to where I sweat and build muscle. I ask myself as I stand looking at them today, “what’s wrong with me?” (I really did.)
I am a good person, a strong woman, a happy person in pretty much all aspects of my life. I can raise children, take care of my husband, feed an army if I have to, plan mission projects, complete paperwork for a farm operation, and do many other things.
But I can not for the life of me stick with this healthy lifestyle stuff.
Folks, I’m at that point where it’s giving up or giving in or whatever one says. The point where you just go on and act like you don’t see the image or how you feel. Nothing is motivating me, even looking at this pile it doesn’t make me want to turn on Youtube and do a workout or start logging my food. I feel like that point where I want to stop.
I hate that point. The point of failure.
Anyone else ever feel this way?
Grace is a gift,
P.S. I’m scheduling my post and it’s Tuesday night. I have walked for an hour the last two days & it feels good. I know that’s not enough activity to really help my body shape or weight but mentally it’s a great thing. I’m really not into taking things to lose weight to be healthy, I just need to commit to what I need to. Healthy eating and more movement. I pray for that to come.