Filling the Gap & Apologizing


Today I spent the morning sifting through all the stuff I purged from my attic a couple of weeks ago.  I’ve decided I will be donating a large amount, sold a tad online, and trashing other stuff.  Only 3 boxes went back up in the attic and a few items I totally forgot about came into our home.

My husband was gone running errands this morning and so I was on my own in sifting through the array of items.  There was anything and everything! Craft stuff, kitchen stuff, books, home decor, magazines, clothing, toys, and so forth. You get the idea!

I came across what seemed to me quite a few items I thought “I had to have” at the time of purchase.  Only to find them now tucked away in a box and not touched for at least four years.  Pretty sad.  I have come to realize I am one of those people who spent a great deal of money on material items to fill the gap within me. I won’t say I never do that now but I have changed quite a bit.  Especially in the past nine months.

As my husband made his way into our garage this is what I said to him.  I’m sorry for spending so much money on stuff I thought I needed but didn’t. All while trying to fill what was missing in me.  He hugged me.  I never bought expensive purses or designer clothes or shoes, but I would buy a lot of little things along the way.

So today I found myself apologizing to my spouse, realizing how far I’ve come, and that it’s ok to live simpler.  I still shop and buy nice things, I just ask myself a question prior to purchase.

With each new day at home I find I need less.  Having food on our table, money to pay the bills, and quality time with my family is what fills me now.  I’m grateful for the spouse I have and the children that understand the changes within me. I pray that it continues for the rest of my life.

Grace is a gift,

Julie

Fall day at the park

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