Our seven-year old daughter is having a hard time with the recent death of my mother. Her mindset and emotions are out of whack from her normal happy-go-lucky, easy-going one. I don’t know why I expected my young child to be able to endure the loss of a beloved grandparent when I am struggling with the loss of my mother.
It comes out in various ways, the snippy attitude, crying in regards to something that she normally wouldn’t, and her need for more hugs from me. I on the other hand just have a slide show of images that will go through my mind at any given moment of mother. I will then become quiet and in my own world. Tears will fall on occasion and other times they flow like a river. I become overwhelmed easily. It hasn’t consumed my daily living but it is ever-present.
Today I did just as my own mother probably would have done. I gathered myself in strength and consoled our daughter while she wept. I reassured her of the resurrection, of how much her grandmother loved her, and how having this pain is because she loved us so much and vice versa. We shared memories and just held one another.
Then it was time for me to distract her with something else so the tears could stop and we didn’t wallow in our despair. It was time to move forward, at least a little bit to accepting that her grandmother wouldn’t be here to watch tv and color with and my mother wasn’t here to call with sewing questions any longer.
May the memories cover the mourning with each day.
Grace is a gift,