Honesty Days


 

Honesty Days

Number 1 -3 were written previously, the rest after August 28th.

1. Once again spending time in ICU waiting rooms.  My mother is in ICU.  I’m feeling strong, except for those moments when I am in my mother’s room.  Actually when I go to leave her, that is when the tears fill my eyes.

2. How is God using this current circumstance to lead me?  That is the question I find myself asking in my head.  We are that family in the waiting room.  The one with someone in ICU.  It has brought about thoughts of some sort of ministry to those in the same situation in the future.  Being here gives me a sense of what others are experiencing, it’s the same, yet it’s not.  How, in the future can I  bring a piece of help to others in this room of uncertainty?

3. Prayer. I’ve always been one to believe in the power of praying.  I never feel ashamed to ask for prayers, even just a quick one is ok. The thought of someone praying and never knowing what impact it may have is ok.  I like the thought that it makes a difference without anyone knowing.

4. The words are not coming.  I am unsure how to start that post.  The one explaining the happenings of the past week or so.  I guess it will wait.

5. Shedding tears with my child and sharing memories both have their place in our lives.  Both are needed to continue forward.

6. Hearing the seven-year old tell the four-year old how Nana will come back someday but not until Easter when Jesus does is priceless.   Slightly turning my head to look at her across the room and catching a glimpse of her Dad with a huge smile on his face because he hears the same thing is even better.

Written week of 8/31/15 and after

7. Hearing the stories, going through the photos.  This helped me remember the person my mother was.  The person I had forgot lived within her.

8. Walking into my mother’s house and seeing the walls empty took my breath away and I thought I couldn’t handle much more.

9.I’m lucky to have a handy man husband that will help when I ask.

10. Each person copes with loss differently.  I understand that, I try to respect that. It’s hard at times though.

11. I pray that God’s desire is laid upon my heart clearly in an upcoming decision.

Grace is a gift,

Julie

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