Written last week in the midst of difficult days. If you can relate, know that in time you will find hope and contentment and happiness once again.
It comes and goes. The feeling of lonliness. The one that although in my mind I know that others have felt this pain, I still feel alone. The fact that God is with me at all times is a fact but my mind can not remember that. I can not cover my mourning and downward fall.
At the same time I feel guilt for not being stronger. There are those in my life or were in my life that exhibit the mindset of “push forward” or “don’t dwell” or “we do what we have to do”. I hear these things (in my mind) and feel them in myself and at the moment of sadness it is followed by guilt. The guilt of not being stronger when every little thing is overwhelming. The anxiety is building and comfort is not found. I find myself holding my tongue when I need to release grief and then yelling for no reason knowing that it’s not about the current incident.
All I can say right now is this.
Please cover me Christ with your love and hold me close. Help me feel the comfort of your arms in this time of tribulation. I beg you. I thank you.
Grace is a gift,