Marriage – It’s Not for the Faint of Heart


Farm Wife - I married a risk taker

 

There are times in marriage where one might feel it’s time to give up. Don’t worry, I’ve been there too. This post was in my personal Facebook feed one morning. It was a morning that I, myself was struggling to feel this marriage thing was all worth it.

I read the long post and at times was shaking my head in agreement, other times in awe of information provided, and then not in awe at all at sections.  I shared it with my spouse as well.

I’ve been divorced once in my life and it did involve two children. I can still see both their faces when we told them we were divorcing. I can still feel the emotions each time they headed off to the other parent’s for a week or month. It’s not an easy path, but my ex-spouse and I worked hard to make the best situation for our kids we could after the divorce. If there is something to be proud of in the grand scheme of things of our divorce it’s that. That with the help of our current spouses keeping us calm, helping communicate, we were able to put our children first.

I’ve been married to my current husband for 12.5 years now and another child is in the mix.  I’m different yet the same as that younger version of me in that first marriage.  I’ve grown, and in that let go of certain perceptions and behaviors, among other things.  I’ve gained a few qualities and found that simplicity fits me best to name a few.

The Handwritten Letter Story

As I mentioned in the first paragraph, my marriage still has it times of disarray and heartache.  There are things I fell in love with in my husband that today drive me nuts.  There are boundaries, expectations, and God plays a substantial role in our daily life.  We are not a totally conventional married couple either. We still have our own mindsets and are two different personalities with our own needs.

Wedding Anniversary

JV

In the times of our marriage that are difficult, where we are still dealing with the same issue from long ago, and fall back into that vicious cycle , I usually do not know what to do. I feel as if I am pounding my head against a wall.  Eventually I find myself  on my knees and praying.  So as to not feel  alone.  God will encompass me and listen to my cries, He will send the Holy Spirit to help me.  It won’t fix everything and probably not very quickly, but that’s ok.  His plan is best.  God is there in my marital joys as well!

40-50% of marriages end in divorce.

I was at a recent seminar where they shared demographics for our area.  It showed that in the study area only 18.3% of people felt it was important to attend religious services. *

Makes ya wonder if the two are connected somehow, doesn’t it?

My marriage is not stellar every day.  In fact, we still struggle after 12.5 years of wedded bliss.  I fight hard though for various reasons.  Some of which are, I still love this man, God wants me to stay married, we have a child, stigma of being divorced again, and our marriage is worth it.

If my child were sick or dying I would do anything to take that away or ease their pain.  I would pray and fight and hold them.  I would gather strength to protect them.

So in the same manner isn’t my husband/marriage worth just as much?  I shall get on my knees if I need to and look at myself to see what I can do to help him be a better husband, make me a better wife, and continue this marriage.

Won’t you join me?

Grace is a gift,

Julie

marriage

*US Census Bureau, Synergos Technologies Inc, Experian, Decionnsite/MissionInsites

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