I was almost too scared to write the title of this post. As if to jinx the time of my life I am in.
The past 2-3 years have been rough but for a few moments each day I can see the sunshine. I can feel the calm within and if I shut my eyes, I breathe a little easier. I can laugh with my husband and welcome a hug from him. I can raise my head off the pillow and although a tad groggy, I feel better than I have in a long while.
This comes after making my declaration of spending 2017 focusing on me. Taking a year to find a better me both mentally and physically. Being so depleted it is hard to rise from the ashes but I vowed to go slow at it. Less than 30 days in I might still be on the “new life” high, who knows! Let’s go with it, it feels pretty good!
I will admit I’ve had my days where tears have won out and irritability spawned horrible tones and words from my mouth. Then the days of wanting to quit or just give up showed their nasty faces too.
But so far the days, or at least the majority of the past days have been enjoyable. That my friends is a good thing. Baby steps. Very baby steps.
I do not blame the place I ended up on any one thing really. A collection of occurences brought me to a place that wasn’t pretty. Apologies are owed to others while also to myself. Appreciation for the tragic moments that build character within me is required. Stopping the moments of this life from slipping away as they rapidly do is needed. Savoring the time I have with my family, opening my heart once again to showing kindness to others, and just letting sunshine fall across my face is in my future. Perhaps not tomorrow, but it’s coming, I can feel it.
So, when the sun comes up today, I will put both feet in front of me, eat a hearty breakfast to start my day and smile. Come on, try it with me won’t you? 🙂
Baby steps my friends. Baby steps.