Five years of writing. Three different blogs. An array of topics, emotions, and so much I might not have shared unless behind a computer screen. I’ve invited people into my life through the world wide web to walk with me down not only challenging times but joyous moments.
My following isn’t huge by any means, which I am just fine with. The writing isn’t about drawing attention to myself or my family, it isn’t about making my mountains bigger than yours or my adventures sound more thrilling. Writing for me is a process, that’s what I have learned in five years of blogging.
It’s always been there. The writing. I recall when I was struggling as a child due to my parent’s divorce, the school counselor told me to write my feelings down. I used a spiral notebook but the spiral part was on top. You know like the one below.
I have no clue where that notebook is today or what I wrote in it. I’m sure it is filled with much heartache, drama, and anger. The teen years, some of those notebooks are still in my attic tucked away. I’m sure my children will learn a few new things upon my death as they go through my things. Those I know will be filled with drama and poems and so much girl/boy heartbreak stuff!
I always liked to start with a very clean fresh piece of paper. If I messed up I would have to start over, I REALLY disliked scratching out anything. It’s like the page needed to look perfect although it was filled with the most imperfect things!
My adult journals became ones that looked pretty on the outside. I always preferred lined pages and some had bible verses or flowers on them. They too were filled with ordinary daily events, the birth of children, job changes, moving, a marriage, and the failure of one. The realization of being traumatized as a child not once but on two different occasions. The hard times of remarriage and raising daughters through the teen years. So much written and all included joy as well. I don’t go back and read them much. Some are best kept locked away.
I still like a spiral type book to write in even if just for my grocery lists or to do lists. I don’t journal much anymore on regular paper though. It’s mostly right here on the blog or I just tuck it away in the crevices called me.
So many things in five years have happened in my life. I haven’t even blogged about them all. I suppose I tend to write about the things that I need to process and most of the time my joys aren’t written. I used to do that more, write about my joys. But then my joys went to the wayside. I feel some days more are present now and I see a tiny inkling of myself coming back. There’s a post about all that in my drafts. Perhaps soon I’ll share that one.
Until next times I hope my posts have helped someone in five years. I know it’s helped me. Perhaps that was God’s intent… to only help me.