I was really feeling good about myself until I saw this recent photograph of myself.
The width of my backside brought me to a place of …. well…..um…. “maybe I haven’t made as much progress as I had thought.”
Then my eyes moved to the little girl behind me. The one that is following me.
That follows my actions, my perceptions, my lead. She will look instantly to me before answering someone. (Not sure that this is a good thing but we’ll go with it) The one that if I am not careful will say she doesn’t like a food because I don’t.
At this point in life, she doesn’t care what I looked like from the backside. She only cares that I was there. That I was participating and engaging with her. That I was taking her on an adventure and spending time with her.
Now, don’t get me wrong, she is very interested in my health. Each time I take my blood sugar she instantly looks at the monitor screen or asks me what it was. Which in turn she gives her response depending if high or low or “not bad.” I have even let her be the one to poke me and test it.
We both love cucumbers, watermelon, chocolate, Dad’s chicken fried rice, upbeat music, cuddles in the church pew, and walking in nature. This child of mine doesn’t care about the width of my hips just that I’m using them to enable me to guide her.
One day, in the not so distant future this little girl will want to take her own path. She will be the one leading someone, whether that be her own child or not. This makes me become aware of how I share with her the perception of my own body, my own beliefs, my own guidance. One generation to another carries something with them from the past. I can only pray that her hip width is not something she lets run her life but maintains a healthy lifestyle physically and mentally.
Wrapping up, I have all but forgot the width of my hips and am basking in the joy of watching a child grow up in my home. A child that I didn’t plan to have following me around but am very grateful it came to be.
Until next time,