The back story about that phrase will take us to the time my mother, rest her soul, was in the hospital in 2015. I’ve written of her prior because writing through my grief was incredibly helpful. You can search my blog (home page, right side, enter mother or grief) to find various posts. I have sprinkled a few throughout this post as well.
I can see and hear the surgeon that worked on my mother the night she survived just that.
A widow maker.
Our family was in a cozy, which really means small waiting room, it was darker than I think it should have been. But it was late into the night. While I sat across from the doctor, I had full view of his scrubs and younger than I anticipated face, all while I tried to focus through the fear I had. As I mention, he stated she survived a widow maker and wasn’t sure how because people do not do that.
At that time I didn’t know what exactly the widow maker meant or how it would come to correlate with the woman I watched in the ER earlier that night, it all came to to me later.
The image of my mother in the ER earlier that night is stuck in a compartment in my memories. It only comes out when allowed and it’s not what I dwell on when I think of her. But it is part of the memory of her. It hurts to think back at my mother enduring pain like no other. Fighting to breathe. Fight to live. So much pain that she wasn’t understandable when she spoke. My mother was enduring a widow maker for longer than she should have and still came out of surgery alive.
Alive yet not in the same manner that we knew her. When we were finally able to see her the image took my breath away and the sight is another etching in that compartment I mentioned. Her strength was dwindling and remembering back the images from that night and the next few days come together as a story.
This is probably a good time for me to tell you why I’m writing this post. Because I was inspired by a stupid television drama that everyone is raving about. Yes I watch it, I did Sunday night, and as the doctor said widow maker, my husband’s head instantly jerked to look at me. It always does because he witnessed my mother’s journey while sitting next to me. Another reason is that the very next morning the Today show shared in my Facebook newsfeed this article about cardiac arrest & This Is Us.
By the way, I didn’t cry one tear during that show. It was the dumb commercial after about a family moving into a house and there were markings on the wall where kids had been measured that made me tear up. Why? Because my mom used to measure ALL her grandchildren in her kitchen.
I know that This is Us and the Today Show are marketing for various reasons but the main one I like to think is Heart Health. Call me naive! But I’m going with that one!
I am rounding out the story with this. My mother was a strong, even in the end. There were things in her life that she had no control over that harmed her heart but there were many choices she made that did harm her heart.
Watching a parent or anyone die is a difficult thing to do. I don’t regret being by her side or with my siblings through it. But it also makes me realize I have work to do in my own life. Even though I started a healthier lifestyle a year ago, I have very far to go, and a great deal to apply to my life. I have no idea the circumstances of when or how I will die. What I do know is the choices I make today will impact the next generation, my children.
My mother (and father) ran their hearts far longer than they should have. Today I want to bring awareness to you about heart health, the love of family, the journey that gets us to the end.
Now. It’s up to you what you do next. Choice is the one thing we have in our power. Let me give you some ideas.
- Choose to try.
- Choose to move.
- Choose to stop smoking.
- Choose to eat better.
- Choose to love others.
- Choose to educate yourself.
- Choose to push the obstacles aside.
- Choose to smile.
- Choose to get help.
- Choose to kick your own butt today!
- Choose to be better.
- Choose to lend a hand.
- Choose to extend care.
- Choose to motivate another.
What do you choose to do today?
Thanks for stopping by!
I was not paid to write any of this.
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