Bringing it Down #15 – May Update


DOWN with the D (2)

It’s now May which means that I need to update this series. It really is hard to believe we are in sunshine days with spring storms popping up all over verses winter darker months.¬† I’m happy for the sunshine no doubt! Total mood enhancer! ūüôā

 

There have been some changes since January, I started a new job in the industry I used to work for many years in.  So that means adjustments to workout times, eating and some mental stress.

When April rolled around I found the 11,000 steps was putting more mental stress on me than I expected.¬† The feeling of failure was outweighing the motivation mindset, so I made a decision.¬† I decided to reduce my daily goal to 10,500 steps.¬† It has been quite helpful and there are several days in the month I have more like 11,000 plus or even 12,000 steps.¬† I am considering changing to a weekly total verses a daily goal.¬† I think this might be beneficial to me, but I will need to keep that rolling total in front of me. That is where my Garmin app will come in quite handy! ūüôā

Since January I have lost 3.6 pounds with no real change in inches.  I am under 200 which is what I really wanted to get to and remain away from it.  Although I am not far from that number I still feel proud of the loss in weight I have had.  As of today I have lost a total of 16 pounds since January 2017.

I started strong in January with workouts and logging my food, that is where I lost most of that weight loss.  Even though I may not have eaten the best or stayed in my carb range, it was still beneficial to me.  I can see that now that I have strayed from that routine.   I also learned that drinking lots of water, especially before I get my coffee in the morning is a huge benefit!

May goals

Most of that blog post was written before  May 6, 2018.  At which point I found myself with an injured foot that kept me from walking my normal routine and some depression setting in.  I am seeking care for my foot and my hip. I  have rested the foot for a week or more.  It is better but still not good enough to walk the way I was.  Honestly my eating sucked during this period, but I am trying now to rectify that.  My blood sugar numbers are still pretty good and my app says my AC1 should be in the range of 5.9.  I still struggle with the number I have after my evening meal.  There are other exercises I could be doing (strength training and bike riding) but I did not because the depression won out.  I am taking it one day at a time.

Julie May 11, 2018

I want to be sure to be honest here so I wanted to be sure to share that last paragraph.¬† Sometimes the bad wins out.¬† It’s whether we allow ourselves to stay there that is the real problem.¬† I’m working my way out on my terms.¬† But know that I am a strong woman and can get back on track!¬† I have very good reasons to.¬† A 10 year old daughter at home, adult children that still need me, and some pretty super grandkids to name a few!

As of today, my foot has improved even more which makes me happy!  Come June 1st I hope to be back at my working out as I like to be! I did jump on my bike a couple times this week! (May 21st)

Until next time!
Julie

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It Is All Connected


feet leg health

My body is failing me (again).¬† At least that’s how it feels.

See, I’ve injured my foot so walking for long periods or at a higher rate of intensity only injures it more. But if I rest/sit too long my bad hip will become quite painful.

It seems to me there’s a connection between things.¬† One thing depending on the other in some form or way.

I need to walk/exercise  to keep my mental state and diabetes  in control. Not to mention my hip from aching. But yet I have to sit to rest my foot, not to mention at the job I hold, I sit at a desk entering  data to provide  for my family financially.

My feet have to carry me in my daily journeys. One being to that job and one to workouts, all while carrying¬† a substantial¬† amount of weight. My poor feet, no wonder one gave out! ūüôā

One depending on another. One needing to partner with the other to be successful.   When one is not functioning, the others can lack in their abilities.

I’m a thinker, so my mind questions.¬† Where do I find the balance without feeling depleted¬† or that I’ve failed something? Where do I find the strength to continue putting forth¬† the effort without feeling overwhelmed? Where do I¬† find healing and support¬† in the midst of uncertainty?

It’s hard for me not to get angry¬† at my body, but in reality I spent many years not caring for it in the manner¬† that I should have. (I still don’t 100%.)¬† I didn’t do my part to create a balance for my well being.

I know it could be so much worse and I’m not writing this for empathy or accolades.¬† I’m just a gal processing through words and throwing it up on social media in hopes it will help someone else.

See, I can take all that I just wrote and although I’m¬† speaking¬† of my¬† health, I could apply it to other parts of my life as well.

Relationships. Religion. Occupations. Goals. Dreams. Food intake. Life choices.  You get the picture.

Ponder that for a moment with me.  Look at how we are connected to more than ONE thing.  Also how those connections are what creates a balance or lack of in our lives.

From the “always thinking writer with the bad left side,” I want to end with this.

If it is healing you need, may you find it.¬† If it’s a partner you seek, may you fall in line with a dependable one.¬† If it’s a new occupation or calorie counting app may it guide you to connections to continue forth.

Whatever connection you are needing, I hope you find it with little pain and much joy.

Julie

April 1, 2018 – No Joke


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Writtern on April 1, 2018¬† Easter and April Fool’s Day

When you feel no more can be withstood.

Many people are rejoicing today and pulling pranks on their friends.¬† The first I speak of are Christians for it’s Easter and Jesus has risen!¬† The second folk are enjoying April Fool’s Day.¬† Perhaps you are a combination of both.¬† For me today is a day of attending church service and an Easter supper with my children, I’m not much of a prankster.¬† Knowing my personality, if one did an xray my funny bone would be quite small.

For me today is a bout of less than stellar emotions. So much to rejoice about yet I can’t knock myself out of this funk.¬† I know what led me to the depressive emotions, but unable to write about it here or even if I did I know it would make no difference in reality.

Oh don’t worry, I won’t show the downer state at the church service or even at my family gathering.¬† The nice clothes for church and the smile will appear, even the Happy Easter acolade will slip from my mouth.¬† I will be happy for the others,¬† my children around my dinner table, and grandchildren finding Easter eggs will bring me joy.¬† Then all will go home, the dim state will creep back in, and I will have to figure out how to push through.

Because that is what I do.¬† I push through, my mother taught me that without even saying the words.¬† Her example was to bulldoze the challenge ahead of her and never let it win.¬† ¬†Eventually the body gave out and the challenge won.¬† It was probably for the best, she was tired I know, her fight was less than it was back in the day.¬† Is that how it will be for me?¬† Feeling like I am fighting for a life I want but can’t seem to quite grasp it?¬† Is this really all my own fault, self-inflicted?¬† I presume some will say yes, some will relate, and some will just scroll through to the next blog post that catches their eye.

I’m feeling tired already to be honest.¬† Everything seems to be a challenge and if I don’t reach the right level each day I then fall to the state of feeling that of a failure.¬† I suppose it’s the adjusting period, with the new schedule from the job, my workouts not being when they were, and change isn’t my real strong suit.

Oh there I go, I let you in on just a tad of what the reasons may be.  I always have been kind of an open book.  I mean, why else would I have a blog sharing words from my mind, heart, and soul.

Although of late I have seriously considered closing both blogs down.¬† Giving up on something I once loved to do to make room for something else in the schedule.¬† Why does everything have to feel¬† so hard to accomplish?¬† I don’t handle it as well as I used to ya know.

Does this blog post even intertwine and make sense?¬† Perhaps only in my mind. Basically it’s a moment in my life that I may not even recall six months from now.¬† I may not even give it a second thought next April 1st.¬† But in the reality of it all where to do I go from here?¬† What choices do I have before me that I can look at and not feel so overwhelmed?¬† Marking off my lists, conquering my challenge, stuffing the defeated self away until another cloudy day comes along.¬† That’s how it goes.

It’s April 11th and I am just now revisiting this post.¬† To be honest, I am very happy with my writing in this post.¬† I feel honest and that it is well written.¬† I had planned to revisit it sooner and share it.¬† But today is the day because there really isn’t much else to write about it except this.

The bouts of depression appear, they always do.  The stresses of life exist.  The joy filled moments take my breath away and the photographs I take remind me of happier times.  Reality exists and without any of this my life would be incomplete I presume.  

Julie

Widow Maker


Whenever the following phrase “widow maker” is used, whether it be in a television show, conversation with others, or online somewhere, the hair on the back of neck instantly stands up.

 

The back story about that phrase will take us to the time my mother, rest her soul, was in the hospital in 2015.¬† I’ve written of her prior because writing through my grief was incredibly helpful.¬† You can search my blog (home page, right side, enter mother or grief) to find various posts.¬† I have sprinkled a few throughout this post as well.

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I can see and hear the surgeon that worked on my mother the night she survived just that.

A widow maker.

Our family was in a cozy, which really means small waiting room, it was darker than I think it should have been.¬† But it was late into the night. While I sat across from the doctor, I had full view of his scrubs and younger than I anticipated face, all while I tried to focus through the fear I had.¬† As I mention, he stated she survived a widow maker and wasn’t sure how because people do not do that.

At that time I didn’t know what exactly the widow maker meant or how it would come to correlate with the woman I watched in the ER earlier that night, it all came to to me later.

The image of my mother in the ER earlier that night is stuck in a compartment in my memories.¬† It only comes out when allowed and it’s not what I dwell on when I think of her.¬† But it is part of the memory of her.¬† It hurts to think back at my mother enduring pain like no other.¬† Fighting to breathe.¬† Fight to live.¬† So much pain that she wasn’t understandable when she spoke.¬† My mother was enduring a widow maker for longer than she should have and still came out of surgery¬† alive.

Alive yet not in the same manner that we knew her. When we were finally able to see her the image took my breath away and the sight is another etching in that compartment I mentioned.  Her strength was dwindling and remembering back the images from that night and the next few days come together as a story.

This is probably a good time for me to tell you why I’m writing this post. Because I was inspired by a stupid television drama that everyone is raving about.¬† Yes I watch it, I did Sunday night, and as the doctor said widow maker, my husband’s head instantly jerked to look at me. It¬†always does because he witnessed my mother’s journey while sitting next to me.¬† Another reason is that the very next morning the Today show shared in my Facebook newsfeed this article about cardiac arrest & This Is Us.¬†¬†¬†

By the way, I didn’t cry one tear during that show.¬† It was the dumb commercial after about a family moving into a house and there were markings on the wall where kids had been measured that made me tear up.¬† Why?¬† Because my mom used to measure ALL her grandchildren in her kitchen.

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I know that This is Us and the Today Show are marketing for various reasons but the main one I like to think is Heart Health. Call me naive! But I’m going with that one!

February is Heart Health month

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American Heart Association graphic

I am rounding out the story with this.  My mother was a strong,  even in the end.  There were things in her life that she had no control over that harmed her heart but there were many choices she made that did harm her heart.

Watching a parent or anyone die is a difficult thing to do.¬† I don’t regret being by her side or with my siblings through it.¬† But it also makes me realize I have work to do in my own life.¬† Even though I started a healthier lifestyle a year ago, I have very far to go, and a great deal to apply to my life.¬† I have no idea the circumstances of when or how I will die.¬† What I do know is the choices I make today will impact the next generation, my children.

My mother (and father) ran their hearts far longer than they should have.  Today I want to bring awareness to you about heart health, the love of family, the journey that gets us to the end.

Now. It’s up to you what you do next.¬† Choice is the one thing we have in our power.¬† Let me give you some ideas.

  • Choose to try.
  • Choose to move.
  • Choose to stop smoking.
  • Choose to eat better.
  • Choose to love others.
  • Choose to educate yourself.
  • Choose to push the obstacles aside.
  • Choose to smile.
  • Choose to get help.
  • Choose to kick your own butt today!
  • Choose to be better.
  • Choose to lend a hand.
  • Choose to extend care.
  • Choose to motivate another.

What do you choose to do today?

Thanks for stopping by!

Julie

 

 

P.S.

I was not paid to write any of this.

If you like the post and think heart health is important share it on social media to bring awareness.

 

 

My Journey with Diabetes/Bringing It Down – 2018 Goals – #14


DOWN with the D (2)

 

One of the best tools I took away last year from learning about changing a lifestyle is the following.

Write out your goals and then write out the plan to get there. 

If I can give one bit of advice that is what I would give.  I took a spiral notebook and it ended up being my pal for the past year.

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I am normally a very “neat” person when it comes to logging and even writing out my grocery list. I like to start with a clean crisp piece of paper, lines always too.¬† But as the year went on¬† it wasn’t important to see straight lines and logging columns.¬† To me it was seeing progress and the ability to revisit my goals and my plan.¬† Although I lost my way a few times I am now content with the result I ended with in 2017.¬† I’ve come to terms I did some great accomplishments for myself and my family.

But it is not time to stop.¬† It is time to “up my game” and make yet another commitment to making the vessel God gave me stronger.¬† So, now I will share my goals and my plan for 2018.

My hope is to find the inner strength to move forward and remember that baby steps CAN make a huge difference.¬† That when I am feeling overwhelmed and upset as I was last week that there is still hope and a fire deep inside me.¬† Like I’ve said before, no one can make me do this, only me.¬† Which means that no one can stop me from doing this either!

Disclaimer – I¬† have already begun some of the items in my plan.¬† I am going on a girl’s trip this weekend, I’m sure I will indulge at some point.¬† But I do have a plan in my head and a commitment to workout both days.¬†

2018 Goals

2018 Goals

2018 plan

Current levels (just for fun!)

10,000 steps most days (January so far, only 1 days with less than 10K)

45 minute workout per day

Eating out – since starting 2018 have ate out less than previous months

Motivate/Inspire others, #keep movin group, brother and cousin too

Meals: half a plate of veggies at dinner

oatmeal or cream of wheat w/banana for breakfast most days

Thank you to everyone that has supported me in 2017.  It really did help to have others with me.  Even if you only commented on my social media posts or complimented how I looked. Encouraging others is a great way to make life better.  So from my heart, thank you.

Well I think that about does it for this post.¬† It’s time to get up from this computer and move!¬† Thanks for swinging by!

Julie

 

 

 

 

My Journey with Diabetes/Bringing It Down – #13 (January 2018) New Year


DOWN with the D (2)

My annual check-up has happened and I am on my way.  On my way to my next set of goals.  I knew going in I wanted to lose another 10 pounds in 2018.  To some that may seem like a small amount to take an entire year to lose,  but to me it seems like a challenge.  In 2017  I lost 13 pounds and have kept it off.

That was how my draft¬†of this post looked, the night before my appointment.¬† Here’s how I wrote it after my appointment.

Now that I’ve gone through my hissy fit and self-loathing I’m ready to sit down and share.¬† Yep.¬† The high expectations of myself and the results not being exactly what I wanted makes for a “fussy” Julie.

The results of my AC1 were good, not 5.9 but still good. 6.1 to be exact.¬† Yes, I was disappointed in myself but if I’m honest,¬† that is fabulous for the things I have ate in the last three months! I made it through the holidays and beginning of winter with only a .2 increase!¬† My doctor wants me under 7 by the way.

BUT… there’s always a but, am I right?

There’s this little thing called high cholesterol.¬† It runs in the DNA I share with my family.¬† You know what is coming, right?¬† Yep, my cholesterol overall is high and my “bad” cholesterol is double what it should be.

I’ll be honest this wasn’t a shocker as my labs the past couple years have been reflecting the gradual increase.¬† I felt the irritation really set in when she mentioned taking medicine for it and that my age is approaching 50.¬† We will monitor it for the next year and discuss it at that time.

I left the doctor’s office feeling less than stellar although I received a pretty healthy report.

I guess I wanted to walk in there still feeling I conquered and maintained my AC1, while¬† eating on the sly.¬† The little too much tidbits of chocolate and breads, the beef and eggs filling me along with those green salads.¬† The green salads justify the plate right?¬† ūüôā¬† ¬†I am far from failing.¬† I know this.

I am making my way to figuring out how to adjust (once again) to things that have been placed in my path.¬† I’m not 100% there but I’ve got tidbits floating around for 2018 in my head.

For instance I know I’d like to lose another 10 pounds in 2018, firm up these jiggly thighs and continue conquering this tummy area.¬† I want to continue a healthier lifestyle for me and my family.

I have my handy spiral notebook with fresh clean pages ready to fill in.¬† I have notes jotted down and I’ve been reflecting on photographs from the past year. I’ve visited that Facebook post my cousin-in-law wrote months ago that inspired me to step up my game, and my new Garmin fitness tracker will be here today.¬† And last but not least I can’t forget my #keepmovin group of friends supporting me or my older brother, who until recently I could beat on our Samsung challenges to motivate me! (I will beat him again someday!) ūüôā

 

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The photo on right: Jan. 2017  the photo on left is January 2018.  
This life isn’t just about the physical side of things.¬† It’s about the emotional side as well.¬† I have to take the time to process, in my own way, so I can find the empowerment to move forward physically.

Until next time,

Julie

 

P.S. If you have any good recipes that are low carb and low fat that do not include fish or turkey I would love them.¬† ūüôā

Closing Out 2017


 

There will be and has been a lot of “year in review” and “2017” posts this week out on the world wide web.¬† I am just now starting my own at 9:00 p.m. on New Year’s Eve. (and didn’t post until January 3rd!)

Looking back at my blog posts I see I wrote about dancing in the kitchen and then there was the one about my 2017 Word.  They inspire me to reflect on where I am today  compared to last year at this same time.

I’m happy to share that in 2017 I did make changes in my life.¬† I took baby steps, which is not my normal route when doing things.¬† At times I fell off the right path, into the one of least resistance (remember I love brownies) and then got back on track to finish what I came into 2017 vowing I would do!

So many different emotions were involved in 2017!  Times of excitement, anticipation, anxiety, successes, and failures, they were all part of the year I chose to FOCUS on me!  There were distractions, brownies eaten, half plates of veggies, and two bite only sweets.  Let us not forget the low blood sugar episodes that come with the sweats and being delirious momentarily.  How about the high blood sugar with whopping headaches and blurry vision!

Then the times of balance.  Those were like I was walking on a cloud!

The poking of my fingers, the magic numbers, and the money spent on supplies.  All part of my life now.  The family that endured me trying to find a balance those first three months and surviving my hangry moments.  (My angry ones too!)

My year in review isn’t all about my move to get healthier but it is a daily thing for me.¬† It’s part of who I am, who I have to be.¬† I spent some time posting daily on my personal social media, honestly it helped me.¬† I felt like I was being held accountable even if no one commented or clicked like.¬† I had to post, it was motivation to #keepmovin.¬† Then I stopped, mostly in fear of becoming annoying.

One thing I have found¬† that I’m proud of myself for is my dedication to getting healthier. Although there were people who clicked like or commented once awhile, ultimately I have learned that it’s really up to me.¬† I have to be the one to push myself and stay focused.

In the world today ( me included) we tend to lose interest pretty quickly, especially if it isn’t about ourselves.¬† So why would anyone be interested in how far I walked today or the photo of myself or the road ahead while I walked?¬† Don’t get me wrong, thank you to those that have supported me and given me high-fives.¬† It has helped, but I learned in 2017 that I can do something on my own. It may not be easy but I can and did primarily.

I come to this conclusion mostly because….

  • No one is going to hold my hand and poke it to draw blood four to six times a day.
  • No one is going to look at me and say “Julie, stop don’t eat that second helping of pasta.” (NOT EVEN MY FAMILY)
  • No one is going to ask me “did you keep moving today?”
  • No one is going to make me go to my annual checkup.

No one….. but ME.

It’s on me.¬† Just like it was on me when I gained weight.

My 2018 goals will be shared later in January.  I am already working on them but plan to make a post after visiting my doctor and seeing my six month lab results.  To be honest the past month and half has been a struggle for me.  There have been stresses that play a big factor and the holiday food mixed with colder temperatures play a part.  But I am not going to dwell on the past weeks.  The past 12 months have been better than the prior 48!  I am going to look forward and keep moving to a better me.

So I’d like to end my 2017 year in review with this.

It was a year of successes and challenges that is ending with a healthier individual writing this blog. One that still has miles to go but is ready to take 2018 on!

It’s just that simple.

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I couldn’t find many pictures of my husband & I in 2017 together. Hmm…..

 

Happy New Year!

Julie

Bringing It Down – #10


Below is the post I shared on my personal Facebook page today. ¬†There is more I’ve felt, accomplished, failed at, and shared but this is a good start. ¬†I’m proud of where I am and can feel that I need to step up a few more things in my life. ¬†I hope you enjoy today’s post.

DOWN with the D (2)

58 days ago I was motivated by another individual and their social media post.  He motivated me to get myself out of the 8,000 steps a day mode and kick it up a notch.  I am grateful for him and his posts on various aspects of his life.
To hold myself accountable I decided to post daily and possibly motivate others.  I post my fitness tracker progress throughout the day in comments as well.

It has helped me a great deal to stay accountable and keep moving.  I’ve also received feedback and support from people.  Thank you to all of you that have helped me.

In those 58 days….

I have missed reaching my goal 10 out of 58 days.

I have bounced back from times of depression quicker than usual.

If I do not get 5,000 steps before noon I’m probably in trouble.

I have lost less than one pound.

Taking 3 small walks a day is better than no walks.

I have clothes that fit better.

I’ve been frustrated.

I have gained support from old friends.

I’ve ate better but still need improvement.

I realized sleep is essential, power naps are okay.

Sunrises are pretty spectacular here in Kansas.

My knees and leg have hurt and I wonder why I even try.

Stretching is a must for this lady.

I am the only person that can really make myself care about me.

My hip hurts more if I don’t walk often.

My feelings still get hurt but I probably don’t blow it out of proportion as much.

It’s social media, if someone doesn’t like your post, they can unfollow you or scroll by, just do your thing.

My process  and progress is slow.

Support is really great, but you don’t always have it.

My blood sugar numbers are super good on average!

Guilt within yourself can be a tool to motivate.

Walking to the corner of my road and back can give me 1500 to 2000 steps in no time.  Quick as that!

It’s okay to still eat yummy sweet stuff or carbs… just don’t overload.

Pay attention to you. Mindless living doesn’t work in my situation.

A little girl is watching my every move.

My process is just that.  Mine.

10,000

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Bringing It Down – #9


It’s interesting that I was finally able to share this series on Facebook. ¬†I was at a point where I felt confident (for two seconds) to hit post, so I went with it a couple weeks ago. ¬†I still haven’t done it on my personal page but over on our farm blog page I did it.

Some things happened that I had to change my series title and that threw me into a place of disarray.  I have now composed myself (to some degree).  After a day or two I gathered my running thoughts and emotions and got down to business.  Arranging and organizing and feeling more in control once again.

Balanced. ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† That’s it. ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Balanced is what I felt.

Instead of having FOCUS as my 2017 word¬† it should have been balance. ¬†I’ve repeated it, in my mind so many times, over the course of this past eight months! ¬†I should have it down! But occasionally I tip one way or another just a little too much and find myself in a frenzy.

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For example, today I wasn’t able to fit in the 30 minute walk before work I had planned. Due to circumstances out of my control! ¬†BUT instead of letting my emotions get the best of me I took the time to sneak a 10 minute walk in. ¬†The old me would have made up some excuse to just skip it. ¬†Even though I already know my lunch hour will be filled with me eating out and running errands. ¬†No real workout then either.

Here’s the deal, I’ve changed my brain somewhat, my thinking. ¬†I know for a fact that if I do not get movement into my day my blood sugar will be higher and I will feel bad physically. ¬†The movement keeps me in check and helps both mentally and physically.

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I did buy a package of donuts before walking, it was an emotional buy, no doubt. ¬†This was not a good move BUT once again I turned a negative into a “not so negative” situation. ¬†I only ate half the package. ¬†I had already ate low sugar oatmeal for breakfast. ¬†That’s like 25 carbs alone, and the donuts (half) were about the same. ¬†Yes 45 is my target but this was a meal with not really much healthy carbs in my books.

I took my blood sugar and it came back 151. ¬†target range for after meals is 140. ¬†Do you know why it’s not as high as I predicted?

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THE WALKING!  A little 10 minute walk can make such a difference and this is what keeps me coming back.

Finding the balance. ¬†That’s what works for me. ¬†That’s what I want to continue for the rest of my life. ¬†Not a strict diet plan or exercise regiment, but a balance that suits my life while benefitting my health.

Movement. ¬†I still try to walk about 45 minutes daily 5 out of 7 days. My goal is 10,000 steps per day so it’s been more like 6 or 7 days out of a week to reach it. ¬†I have started biking with my daughter. ¬†It’s taking some getting used to but last night I went 14 minutes. ¬†That’s pretty good for the lady that could hardly do 7 minutes the first time.

Diet. ¬†I still am not counting my carbs necessarily for my meals. I am looking at the plate to visual and plan what I need it to look like. ¬†I have been eating more “non-healthy” snacks of recent. ¬†I am noticing the way I am feeling and need to back off this habit. Grocery shopping for September is right around the corner so planning is crucial.

Support. Here is where it’s has been extremely helpful for me. ¬†I have two gal pals T & N that stay in daily contact with me to help me. ¬†I hope I am doing enough to support them as well. ¬†It has really helped me. ¬†I also am doing some challenges through Samsung Health app and my Garmin Connect app.

The other daily thing I started about 30 some days ago is posting on my personal Facebook page. ¬†I use a photo from my walks and add words. I have placed them all in an album together. ¬†I write different things depending on my mood. ¬†And there are days where I just do not want to “talk” so I write 10,000. ¬†(I put that at the end of each post too.)

Throughout the day in comments I add a photo, normally of my Garmin Vivofit 3 showing my steps status. ¬†I figure in a year my Facebook “ON THIS DAY” this will remind me where I was and where I am wanting to be. ¬†It’s another tool in my motivational box of goodies.

Also I hope I inspire someone else.

But honestly, its mostly for myself.

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A selfie on that 10 minute walk!

 

Until next time,

Stay moving,

Julie

 

Bringing It Down – Diabetes #1


This post was held for publishing until I was over the six month mark of my health journey. ¬†I had to feel mostly confident and positive progress before sharing. ¬†In my life, too many times, I’ve started something only to feel I failed. ¬†This time needed to be different and so far it is. ¬†Six months was goal number one.

If you care to follow the series just subscribe to receive emails in the top left corner of this blog.

Those minor changes I mentioned in my 2017 word post began on January 3rd, but reality hit when I received the call about my A1C number in December. (Diabetes) ¬†The reality of trying to fill my pain, grief, sadness, anger and lack of confidence ¬†with food (and sedentary actions) has brought about a not so lovable thing. ¬†Hold tight… more on that in a moment.

Those conversations I mentioned before in this post, well they were not life changing but they changed me enough to feel free.  It felt as though someone was finally listening to me and although in a quiet manner the results helped me take a baby step towards feeling less alone.  That tiny bit of support where I felt I could say out loud feelings I had felt ashamed of having , actually enabled me.

So now I will share with you in hopes that if you ever find yourself in a similar situation you know you aren’t alone.

But first a few things I need to get out.

  • I don’t completely understand why I was so affected by the death of my parents. Why it knocked me so far down.
    • It’s not like I was super close to either of them or saw them all the time. It’s not like I grew up in a cozy happy situation.
  • Okay, I do know one reason. It’s because ¬†I’m out of time.
    • Out of time to ask those questions. ¬†Ask the questions that make people uncomfortable and aren’t pretty. ¬†The ones that could give me answers or explain why things happened to me. ¬†Silence can be a killer in itself I think sometimes.
  • I loved them.
    • No matter what happened in life, I loved them. ¬†They were the parents that created me.¬†
  • Why didn’t they take better care of themselves?
    • Who am I to talk, look where I am now.

That freeing I spoke of earlier, it came when I said out loud, to my spouse, the part about time running out to ask the questions. That was a turning point for me.

january-2017
This photo helped me move forward. Jan. 2017

All those words you just read were written a few month ago, but they still resonate with me. ¬†They still bring forward to my mind that the path I am now on is one that is really important. ¬†I’ve held off blogging about this part of my life for ¬†fear of failure, ¬†and afraid those that see me often will watch my plate each time I fill it. (like they have nothing else to do, right?)

I’m ready to share now. ¬†Maybe it’s because I’ve met with my Diabetes Educator ¬†a few times. ¬† Actually, ¬†it’s because I feel more in control then I have in a few years. ¬†Whatever the reason I’m not going to force myself to journal but I will write when necessary about DOWN WITH THE D. In hopes that it will help others and yes even keep me on track for life.

Down with the D Series # 2 – 5 will be published soon. ¬†Subscribe so you can read the next step in the series as at this moment I don’ t feel comfortable sharing on my personal social media pages.

Julie