Today is a good day for me. I feel like most of the time when I write here I find myself writing when the darkness has once again come to the forefront of my life. Well today it’s pretty bright in my world! 🙂 Just yesterday was a so-s0 day, but I’m calling it good too!
Today while checking out my Facebook newsfeed, I clicked on the Katie Luther link. I took the time to read the blog post and I’m glad I did. It made me remember what difference it made for me when I did the Love Your Spouse challenge. (You might want to read my post before moving on). I like the writer’s view about marriage and I can see the view of the one that she speaks about of course.
In dealing with my depression and losses in my life I don’t feel that keeping them completely out of the world’s sight is a good thing. I know there are others struggling as well, it help them or me to share. Yet part of me feels the shame of not being okay…yet. It’s an ongoing struggle for now folks but let’s remember! It’s a bright day for me today!
The past two years have been incredibly hard for not only me, but for my husband. We still struggle with the things that were hard in the first few years of marriage. There are new issues which could include grief or financial or family struggles. There are things that are coming from both our childhoods that make their appearance and neither one of us can figure out how to deal with them or react to the other spouse. We have accomplished a great deal of things in our marriage as well.
Sharing isn’t horrible by any means. Holding onto the issue, struggle, grief, etc forever and ever is. I know several people, in my own family even, that can let go of the past easier than I. Sometimes I feel they are the lucky ones. But then I try to remember how far I have come already. How the difficult path I’ve been on has brought about who I am. That I have already beat a lot of demons that quietly reside within me. I can feel proud of that.
The darkness comes and goes. But today I’m celebrating taking my life back and soaking in the brightness of this life given to me.
Back to the love your spouse challenge thing, I participated in that challenge at one of my marriage’s lowest points. It’s okay. It helped, because I had to work really hard to remember what I appreciate about my spouse during a hard time. I didn’t lie. I meant every word I wrote on my Facebook newsfeed those seven days. So. Thank you my friend that challenged me it was a spot in the process of life! It helped me and my spouse.
By the way, my spouse and I actually have several photos of just us but I realized in the past couple years we have taken less. Probably because I haven’t felt good about me and many other things. Perhaps I need to take a spouse selfie today! 🙂
Feel the brightness friends! Don’t worry about when it’s going to go dim again! Just feel the brightness!
Grace is a gift,
*My view is that the difficult moments in a person’s life do several things. But I’ve always said, “it builds character and strength.”