Bringing it Down Not just Diabetes – #17


2017-2019

 

I just read my post from a year ago, boy was I ambitious!  Apparently I lost my luster for this journey cause I did not reach my 10 pound weight loss goal I had! In fact, I lost 3 pounds in that first month and at this moment I am sitting at the same weight I was a year  ago. Some would say that’s better than gaining!  2018 just felt to me like a year of some transitioning emotionally and hitting a roadblock or two and all the while maintaining my weight, not gaining.

As mentioned in my last post I have met with my doctor and my AC1 test results purely shocked me! Seriously!  I am not lying when I say it blew me out of the water!  I can view my lab results about a week before our appointment so I wasn’t shocked going in.  When opened the lab report on my computer I cheered with joy!

5.8

That’s the number that came back and it made me very happy. Once again she called me her poster child for diabetes.  I know if I stopped moving and/or slide (even more than I have recently) into the old eating habits I’d find that number high once again!  But it’s good now! Celebration time right?

Well yes but let’s slow down for a minute – remember the cholesterol issue I spoke of last year?  Ya, it’s still hanging around.  217 overall, my LDL is 143, which isn’t super high if you are without diabetes.  But I do.  Unfortunately with the lovely diabetes + high cholesterol = higher risk of heart attacks.  Which both my parents passed away from. ( I have never smoked, they both did during their lifetimes, so I’m one (or many) step ahead, right?)

Honestly – I’m still processing.  20 pounds seems like such a huge mountain to climb in six months.  My depression has played havoc with me this winter season but I will get my act together soon.  I will get that handy dandy spiral notebook out, do some research, and get a game plan going.  I will find what works for me.

I know that my family history shows high cholesterol although some family has good weight and diets.  So come July it may be time to accept the medication but somewhere in me, there’s that fight that changed my lifestyle enough to reduce my insulin resistance.  I’m going to try and go find it now and apply it to this new challenge!

So stay tuned and keep movin!

Julie

 

I don’t care for fish or turkey – at all.  This could be interesting!  🙂

 

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Bringing It Down – Diabetes #16


 

2017-2019

It’s that time of year again, where I find myself at an anniversary of living with diabetes.

First I want to say how very fortunate I feel to have the good health that I do.  I’ve got 3 things that aren’t so healthy but they are manageable.  I’m lucky.  I know it and I know that could change with age and how I live.  It could get incredibly better or worse.

I have to admit I went into this year’s annual checkup telling myself my AC1 would be in the 6.2 to 6.5 range.  You know, I was actually preparing myself for the guilt I would feel. Like telling myself would make it that much easier to swallow.

I got myself here and I am the only one that can maintain or improve my well being.

See my eating habits have fallen by the way side.  Oh sure here and there I still fill up on veggies but my snacking and my candy eating has been pretty substantial.  I am still walking for my workouts, that hasn’t changed.  My husband even joins me on occasion which is quite helpful.

I got myself to that place I was a couple years ago and it wasn’t something that popped up quickly.  IT happened over time, by not eating right and being sedentary.  I know that if I wasn’t making myself move on a regular basis I would be on insulin by now.  I still take my blood sugar and know what goes into my body and so I have proof that this isn’t a made up thing in my head.

If I eat something with a great deal of bread or pizza or an entire candy bar and take my blood sugar two hours later it is going to be HIGH.  My eyesight won’t be as great and I will actually not feel that great physically to be honest.

By the way, I never quit those foods (well I did candy bars for quite a while) 100%.  If I take a walk or workout or drink lots of water it helps to maintain a better blood sugar, even lower than I anticipate at times.  But that’s the key, managing my food intake, exercise and my blood sugar readings.

In the past few months I let my managing my food go to the way side.  I started eating whole candy bars here and there and not having any veggies on most of my plate.  I was bored/sick of salads and cottage cheese and greek yogurt.  Those were my staples of getting through that first year.

When I eat something a great deal I eventually find myself  quitting eating it and sometimes it takes a very long time to come back to it.  I know I know… change it up but these were my “foods” I felt I could rely on and live with.  I didn’t replace them with healthy foods over the past few months, I just ate whatever I thought would be good.

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I still took my blood sugar readings but not as often.  I didn’t want to feel the guilt of failing.  Cause that is what it feels like if I do not get 10,500 steps per day or do a workout at least.  But my depression plays a role in my life and it’s been a difficult past three months for me.  Even though I could probably go without taking my blood sugar so regularly and save money it’s a tool that I NEED.  Seeing that number on the monitor and the estimated AC1 number on my app holds me accountable!

This post is probably boring for most but it’s mostly for myself to keep me accountable and to remember back what it was like, this journey.  I’m sharing all this but although I know my AC1 test results my doctor appointment isn’t until Monday.  I plan to visit with her and then write a post to share my results and figure out what lies ahead for my diabetic journey.

So if you interested stop by next week!  There will be another post!

Thanks for dropping by!
Julie

 

My Parents & the Next Generation


Our family was watching a movie the other night together, a holiday one on Netflix.   One of the lines was ” I see your dad in you daily.”

Recently my own thoughts have been swirling around my dad and mom and the memories I have of them.  I suppose the holiday season is why and the fact that our extended family no longer comes together very easily.  Not because we can’t get along but more of just life gets in the way.

After the line was said, my 10-year-old daughter asked me what it meant, see the father figure was deceased.  I explained in a manner I thought she would relate.

“Don’t you see my dad and mom in me at times?”

Although quite innocent, yet I could tell she was hesitant to say the following she did.

“I don’t really remember Grandpa.”

Sadness inflicted my entire body and my next thought to myself was  “but you were such an important part of his life.”  I wasn’t angry with her, I mean she was only 6 years old when he passed away.  We only saw him 2 to 3 times per year.

But the story of when she was born and meeting him is one forever in my heart.  I guess I need to get the scrapbook out and tell her the story again and again and again.

The very next morning, upon returning to Kansas, we headed to the hospital to have Grandpa meet his newest grandaughter. I can recall walking down the hall, getting close to his room, an

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I am blessed with three siblings, three daughters, son-in-laws and grandchildren and a husband. But I still find myself missing the days of having extended family meet up more than once a year at Mom’s house.

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To hear her loud and outrageous comments, the kitchen island filled with good food and all of us crowded into her somewhat small home, then sitting together around her big table to laugh and eat!

My fondest memories are from years ago when we would play games or cards around that table.  This is somewhat lost now in our family.  We would all stay for hours and enjoy each others company with the littles running a-muck!

When all my children and grandchildren are in my home, gathered around my dinner table, that is when I find myself happiest.  Back in the day my mom would always say she didn’t want anything except her family home and us being there was gift enough.  We always got her gifts anyways but now, now that I have my own large family, I totally get what she meant.

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I am lucky because my children and grandchildren live quite close.  But when there has been a few days and I haven’t heard the twins say Gaga or my oldest granddaughter say Grandma Julie in her special way or the youngest grandaughter smile huge for me, or even the 12-year-old grandson hug me, I get to missing them and will video call them.  Grateful for technology but even more grateful for them when they are in my home together.

The thoughts of my parents recently, the subject of my youngest not recalling my dad has made other things to ponder in my mind.  What do I do that is similar to my dad?  Will my grandchildren remember me when I am gone,  the way my own girls recall my mom now? Will they notice the attributes that my daughters have that are similar to me?

Those are for another time.  I’m heading off to reminisce and think of days gone by now! Happy Holidays!

Julie

Waiting – What’s it all about? What does it look like for me?


The topic at hand was inspired via this bible study I recently (slowly) started reading. It’s been “waiting” on me to begin it for sometime now! 🙂 I read one chapter then put it down for another week until I awoke super early on vacation. It was staring at me – creating guilt within, even though it was tucked away inside my bag.

Bible study by Sharla Fritz

Ask any of my immediate family members and they will tell you that waiting is not my virtue. That I like to know what is going to happen prior to it even being formed at times. When watching shows or movies I will figure out the next “act” around the corner. This drives my husband crazy because on more than one occasion I am correct.

In my mind though, I like to think that with age I have become a tad more patient. Of course my employer had me take one of those “hiring” tests last week that reflected patience was not my strong suit. 🙂 It did reflect some really good things about me though too! 🙂

The bible study today was on Anna, it brought about feelings of things I had been keeping in the back of my own mind. Wondering what my next “act” would be myself, what purpose do I have in this life.

For a few years now I have been grampling with a few different things and in the chaos of my mind I’ve let doubt prevail. I’ve always wanted to see myself as a strong woman but in honesty not so much in recent years. The feeling of being proud of myself has lingered. All while jumping from one thing to another wondering why I can not master one thing.

Did I mention waiting isn’t my strong suit? I know I used to heavily be the type of person that had to hurry up and get to the finish line so I could start the next thing to conquer. At least that is what it felt like in my head. Placing my “worth and value” in what I could get done. (This is probably why it drives me nuts to have quilt tops not quilted and ready to present!)

Along the way though and I need to give a shout out to my hubs here because he is not a rushy person. He has brought a sense of slowness to my life and that it is okay to ENJOY the journey so to speak. For instance he always says “it’s not about the killing (insert your favorite animal to hunt), it’s about the hunt.” The time he spends with his friends each year in Colorado. Oh sure he LOVES to snag one for sure and he will share the story, probably more than once, but I know in his heart, it’s about the actual time spent there.

Vacations used to be more stressful and it was probably me who created the turmoil. Thinking we had to have a schedule and keep to it and so on. Although I do believe a “plan” is essential there needs to be room for flexibility. Otherwise I might miss that golden sunset or my daughter and her Dad enjoying a game or memory to etch in my mind. Now, that being said I still must have some sort of plan but I am more lax in it! Baby steps for sure!

But this post isn’t about my vacations, it’s about my journey and the act of waiting to know what my purpose is here on earth. To know that the next act is one that can be doable and if not learning from it will be character building.

While I wait to see what my next act is perhaps I need to take a few clues from Anna in Luke 2:3638. This woman only had a partner for seven years, then lived the rest of her long long long life praying, fasting, and thanking God. As a widow she was alone but in reality she wasn’t. She had God, just as I do and you do.

My journey is happening right now. I need to stop rushing to the next accomplishment and look at what is around me right now. In prayer and quiet asking the Lord to show me what he would have me do now.

The key thing…… I need to WAIT.

Thanks for stopping by and it felt good to be inspired and write once again.

Julie

Bringing it Down #15 – May Update


DOWN with the D (2)

It’s now May which means that I need to update this series. It really is hard to believe we are in sunshine days with spring storms popping up all over verses winter darker months.  I’m happy for the sunshine no doubt! Total mood enhancer! 🙂

 

There have been some changes since January, I started a new job in the industry I used to work for many years in.  So that means adjustments to workout times, eating and some mental stress.

When April rolled around I found the 11,000 steps was putting more mental stress on me than I expected.  The feeling of failure was outweighing the motivation mindset, so I made a decision.  I decided to reduce my daily goal to 10,500 steps.  It has been quite helpful and there are several days in the month I have more like 11,000 plus or even 12,000 steps.  I am considering changing to a weekly total verses a daily goal.  I think this might be beneficial to me, but I will need to keep that rolling total in front of me. That is where my Garmin app will come in quite handy! 🙂

Since January I have lost 3.6 pounds with no real change in inches.  I am under 200 which is what I really wanted to get to and remain away from it.  Although I am not far from that number I still feel proud of the loss in weight I have had.  As of today I have lost a total of 16 pounds since January 2017.

I started strong in January with workouts and logging my food, that is where I lost most of that weight loss.  Even though I may not have eaten the best or stayed in my carb range, it was still beneficial to me.  I can see that now that I have strayed from that routine.   I also learned that drinking lots of water, especially before I get my coffee in the morning is a huge benefit!

May goals

Most of that blog post was written before  May 6, 2018.  At which point I found myself with an injured foot that kept me from walking my normal routine and some depression setting in.  I am seeking care for my foot and my hip. I  have rested the foot for a week or more.  It is better but still not good enough to walk the way I was.  Honestly my eating sucked during this period, but I am trying now to rectify that.  My blood sugar numbers are still pretty good and my app says my AC1 should be in the range of 5.9.  I still struggle with the number I have after my evening meal.  There are other exercises I could be doing (strength training and bike riding) but I did not because the depression won out.  I am taking it one day at a time.

Julie May 11, 2018

I want to be sure to be honest here so I wanted to be sure to share that last paragraph.  Sometimes the bad wins out.  It’s whether we allow ourselves to stay there that is the real problem.  I’m working my way out on my terms.  But know that I am a strong woman and can get back on track!  I have very good reasons to.  A 10 year old daughter at home, adult children that still need me, and some pretty super grandkids to name a few!

As of today, my foot has improved even more which makes me happy!  Come June 1st I hope to be back at my working out as I like to be! I did jump on my bike a couple times this week! (May 21st)

Until next time!
Julie

It Is All Connected


feet leg health

My body is failing me (again).  At least that’s how it feels.

See, I’ve injured my foot so walking for long periods or at a higher rate of intensity only injures it more. But if I rest/sit too long my bad hip will become quite painful.

It seems to me there’s a connection between things.  One thing depending on the other in some form or way.

I need to walk/exercise  to keep my mental state and diabetes  in control. Not to mention my hip from aching. But yet I have to sit to rest my foot, not to mention at the job I hold, I sit at a desk entering  data to provide  for my family financially.

My feet have to carry me in my daily journeys. One being to that job and one to workouts, all while carrying  a substantial  amount of weight. My poor feet, no wonder one gave out! 🙂

One depending on another. One needing to partner with the other to be successful.   When one is not functioning, the others can lack in their abilities.

I’m a thinker, so my mind questions.  Where do I find the balance without feeling depleted  or that I’ve failed something? Where do I find the strength to continue putting forth  the effort without feeling overwhelmed? Where do I  find healing and support  in the midst of uncertainty?

It’s hard for me not to get angry  at my body, but in reality I spent many years not caring for it in the manner  that I should have. (I still don’t 100%.)  I didn’t do my part to create a balance for my well being.

I know it could be so much worse and I’m not writing this for empathy or accolades.  I’m just a gal processing through words and throwing it up on social media in hopes it will help someone else.

See, I can take all that I just wrote and although I’m  speaking  of my  health, I could apply it to other parts of my life as well.

Relationships. Religion. Occupations. Goals. Dreams. Food intake. Life choices.  You get the picture.

Ponder that for a moment with me.  Look at how we are connected to more than ONE thing.  Also how those connections are what creates a balance or lack of in our lives.

From the “always thinking writer with the bad left side,” I want to end with this.

If it is healing you need, may you find it.  If it’s a partner you seek, may you fall in line with a dependable one.  If it’s a new occupation or calorie counting app may it guide you to connections to continue forth.

Whatever connection you are needing, I hope you find it with little pain and much joy.

Julie

Bittersweet Days


Yesterday was kinda bittersweet for me.  I found myself waking in a type of funky mood, which is probably why I was so sentimental when I was with the newest member of our family.

I am lucky to say that I have a new granddaughter.  She is so sweet and is my fifth grandchild, and even though she is number five I find her just as delightful as all the others – already!

When a pivotal moment happens in our family now, in the back of my mind (and heart) there is a little tug of sadness.  Sadness because my mom is missing it.

Mother and I 2014

Mom would have loved having a new great-grandchild. I know just what she would have done the first time she met her.  She would have gotten her loud voice and excited reaching for her!  Then she would have taken the baby’s blanket off and also the sleeper.  Because she always inspected their toes and feet and little hands! 🙂

That little one and her momma joined me for lunch.   As we headed out  we decided to go to a local deli.  When my Mom was alive and we would do lunch together, we always went to this deli. It was one of her favorite places to eat, so you can see why it was a sentimental kinda day now.  I just kept thinking of her through lunch and looking at our little bundle of joy.  I loved spending time with my daughter, just us three.

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This is from one of our last lunch dates together.  We actually went to her favorite place for ice cream!  Dairy Queen. 🙂

After lunch I decided since it was on my way to the store I would just swing by my mother’s grave.  I do not visit it very often because I know she isn’t really there.  It’s just a body in the ground for now.  I put flowers on it occasionally and when I arrived there were not any.  That was kind of surprise but it has been pretty windy this past few months, my guess is they are in the next state!   Honestly, I think the main reason I put them there is because my mother would expect me too. 🙂 She loved gardening and flowers, so the next best thing is artificial ones, right? So I made a mental note to pick some up.

I normally don’t stay long and I’m not one of those people who goes to the grave to talk to the deceased.  It’s just not for me and don’t judge others that do.  Today I felt an urge to stay longer than usual.  I looked over her plot, they had placed new dirt I could tell.  I assume it had sunk in since 2015, which for some reason kinda rattled me a bit.

 

As I sat there, yes I actually sat down today, not my normal routine, I found myself inspecting the headstone she purchased when my step-dad passed away.  I giggled to myself, it is big and very pretty but really more than ever needed (I think.)  I do like the fact that she put their photograph on it.  I like that a great deal actually. One thing I don’t care for is the fact that she didn’t list that she was a mother. But it was her headstone and Mom always did what she wanted anyway, so it’s no surprise. 🙂

grave

A few tears fell this day and my heart-felt a little torn missing her.  Mom wasn’t in the next generation photograph with the newest member like she was with the oldest granddaughter of ours.  That photo is now a precious gift.

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This day was one with mixed emotions I still feel good about several things in it.  I’m lucky because I know the love of my mother, my daughter, and now my granddaughter.  I know the things that were instilled in me from my mother have been passed down to my daughter and now her little girl will also know them.

My mother was right, there is just something about being a grandparent that changes your world and your perspective, even with number five! 🙂

My mother has 10 grandchildren and currently 12 great-grandchildren with another on the way!  And a few of the grandchildren have not started families yet and that doesn’t count the grandchildren- in laws! 🙂 Life was full at her house whenever we gathered, that is for sure!

I hope as my children and grandchildren grow up they know how very important they are to me. I hope they also have good memories and ties to my generation once I am gone from this earth.  I hope they have bittersweet days after I am gone, because if that is the case,  I know I have done right by them.

Missing my Mom and proud to be a grandma,

Julie

Bittersweet from Zac Brown Band (played at my mom’s funeral)

 

April 1, 2018 – No Joke


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Writtern on April 1, 2018  Easter and April Fool’s Day

When you feel no more can be withstood.

Many people are rejoicing today and pulling pranks on their friends.  The first I speak of are Christians for it’s Easter and Jesus has risen!  The second folk are enjoying April Fool’s Day.  Perhaps you are a combination of both.  For me today is a day of attending church service and an Easter supper with my children, I’m not much of a prankster.  Knowing my personality, if one did an xray my funny bone would be quite small.

For me today is a bout of less than stellar emotions. So much to rejoice about yet I can’t knock myself out of this funk.  I know what led me to the depressive emotions, but unable to write about it here or even if I did I know it would make no difference in reality.

Oh don’t worry, I won’t show the downer state at the church service or even at my family gathering.  The nice clothes for church and the smile will appear, even the Happy Easter acolade will slip from my mouth.  I will be happy for the others,  my children around my dinner table, and grandchildren finding Easter eggs will bring me joy.  Then all will go home, the dim state will creep back in, and I will have to figure out how to push through.

Because that is what I do.  I push through, my mother taught me that without even saying the words.  Her example was to bulldoze the challenge ahead of her and never let it win.   Eventually the body gave out and the challenge won.  It was probably for the best, she was tired I know, her fight was less than it was back in the day.  Is that how it will be for me?  Feeling like I am fighting for a life I want but can’t seem to quite grasp it?  Is this really all my own fault, self-inflicted?  I presume some will say yes, some will relate, and some will just scroll through to the next blog post that catches their eye.

I’m feeling tired already to be honest.  Everything seems to be a challenge and if I don’t reach the right level each day I then fall to the state of feeling that of a failure.  I suppose it’s the adjusting period, with the new schedule from the job, my workouts not being when they were, and change isn’t my real strong suit.

Oh there I go, I let you in on just a tad of what the reasons may be.  I always have been kind of an open book.  I mean, why else would I have a blog sharing words from my mind, heart, and soul.

Although of late I have seriously considered closing both blogs down.  Giving up on something I once loved to do to make room for something else in the schedule.  Why does everything have to feel  so hard to accomplish?  I don’t handle it as well as I used to ya know.

Does this blog post even intertwine and make sense?  Perhaps only in my mind. Basically it’s a moment in my life that I may not even recall six months from now.  I may not even give it a second thought next April 1st.  But in the reality of it all where to do I go from here?  What choices do I have before me that I can look at and not feel so overwhelmed?  Marking off my lists, conquering my challenge, stuffing the defeated self away until another cloudy day comes along.  That’s how it goes.

It’s April 11th and I am just now revisiting this post.  To be honest, I am very happy with my writing in this post.  I feel honest and that it is well written.  I had planned to revisit it sooner and share it.  But today is the day because there really isn’t much else to write about it except this.

The bouts of depression appear, they always do.  The stresses of life exist.  The joy filled moments take my breath away and the photographs I take remind me of happier times.  Reality exists and without any of this my life would be incomplete I presume.  

Julie

Widow Maker


Whenever the following phrase “widow maker” is used, whether it be in a television show, conversation with others, or online somewhere, the hair on the back of neck instantly stands up.

 

The back story about that phrase will take us to the time my mother, rest her soul, was in the hospital in 2015.  I’ve written of her prior because writing through my grief was incredibly helpful.  You can search my blog (home page, right side, enter mother or grief) to find various posts.  I have sprinkled a few throughout this post as well.

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I can see and hear the surgeon that worked on my mother the night she survived just that.

A widow maker.

Our family was in a cozy, which really means small waiting room, it was darker than I think it should have been.  But it was late into the night. While I sat across from the doctor, I had full view of his scrubs and younger than I anticipated face, all while I tried to focus through the fear I had.  As I mention, he stated she survived a widow maker and wasn’t sure how because people do not do that.

At that time I didn’t know what exactly the widow maker meant or how it would come to correlate with the woman I watched in the ER earlier that night, it all came to to me later.

The image of my mother in the ER earlier that night is stuck in a compartment in my memories.  It only comes out when allowed and it’s not what I dwell on when I think of her.  But it is part of the memory of her.  It hurts to think back at my mother enduring pain like no other.  Fighting to breathe.  Fight to live.  So much pain that she wasn’t understandable when she spoke.  My mother was enduring a widow maker for longer than she should have and still came out of surgery  alive.

Alive yet not in the same manner that we knew her. When we were finally able to see her the image took my breath away and the sight is another etching in that compartment I mentioned.  Her strength was dwindling and remembering back the images from that night and the next few days come together as a story.

This is probably a good time for me to tell you why I’m writing this post. Because I was inspired by a stupid television drama that everyone is raving about.  Yes I watch it, I did Sunday night, and as the doctor said widow maker, my husband’s head instantly jerked to look at me. It always does because he witnessed my mother’s journey while sitting next to me.  Another reason is that the very next morning the Today show shared in my Facebook newsfeed this article about cardiac arrest & This Is Us.   

By the way, I didn’t cry one tear during that show.  It was the dumb commercial after about a family moving into a house and there were markings on the wall where kids had been measured that made me tear up.  Why?  Because my mom used to measure ALL her grandchildren in her kitchen.

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I know that This is Us and the Today Show are marketing for various reasons but the main one I like to think is Heart Health. Call me naive! But I’m going with that one!

February is Heart Health month

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American Heart Association graphic

I am rounding out the story with this.  My mother was a strong,  even in the end.  There were things in her life that she had no control over that harmed her heart but there were many choices she made that did harm her heart.

Watching a parent or anyone die is a difficult thing to do.  I don’t regret being by her side or with my siblings through it.  But it also makes me realize I have work to do in my own life.  Even though I started a healthier lifestyle a year ago, I have very far to go, and a great deal to apply to my life.  I have no idea the circumstances of when or how I will die.  What I do know is the choices I make today will impact the next generation, my children.

My mother (and father) ran their hearts far longer than they should have.  Today I want to bring awareness to you about heart health, the love of family, the journey that gets us to the end.

Now. It’s up to you what you do next.  Choice is the one thing we have in our power.  Let me give you some ideas.

  • Choose to try.
  • Choose to move.
  • Choose to stop smoking.
  • Choose to eat better.
  • Choose to love others.
  • Choose to educate yourself.
  • Choose to push the obstacles aside.
  • Choose to smile.
  • Choose to get help.
  • Choose to kick your own butt today!
  • Choose to be better.
  • Choose to lend a hand.
  • Choose to extend care.
  • Choose to motivate another.

What do you choose to do today?

Thanks for stopping by!

Julie

 

 

P.S.

I was not paid to write any of this.

If you like the post and think heart health is important share it on social media to bring awareness.

 

 

My Journey with Diabetes/Bringing It Down – #13 (January 2018) New Year


DOWN with the D (2)

My annual check-up has happened and I am on my way.  On my way to my next set of goals.  I knew going in I wanted to lose another 10 pounds in 2018.  To some that may seem like a small amount to take an entire year to lose,  but to me it seems like a challenge.  In 2017  I lost 13 pounds and have kept it off.

That was how my draft of this post looked, the night before my appointment.  Here’s how I wrote it after my appointment.

Now that I’ve gone through my hissy fit and self-loathing I’m ready to sit down and share.  Yep.  The high expectations of myself and the results not being exactly what I wanted makes for a “fussy” Julie.

The results of my AC1 were good, not 5.9 but still good. 6.1 to be exact.  Yes, I was disappointed in myself but if I’m honest,  that is fabulous for the things I have ate in the last three months! I made it through the holidays and beginning of winter with only a .2 increase!  My doctor wants me under 7 by the way.

BUT… there’s always a but, am I right?

There’s this little thing called high cholesterol.  It runs in the DNA I share with my family.  You know what is coming, right?  Yep, my cholesterol overall is high and my “bad” cholesterol is double what it should be.

I’ll be honest this wasn’t a shocker as my labs the past couple years have been reflecting the gradual increase.  I felt the irritation really set in when she mentioned taking medicine for it and that my age is approaching 50.  We will monitor it for the next year and discuss it at that time.

I left the doctor’s office feeling less than stellar although I received a pretty healthy report.

I guess I wanted to walk in there still feeling I conquered and maintained my AC1, while  eating on the sly.  The little too much tidbits of chocolate and breads, the beef and eggs filling me along with those green salads.  The green salads justify the plate right?  🙂   I am far from failing.  I know this.

I am making my way to figuring out how to adjust (once again) to things that have been placed in my path.  I’m not 100% there but I’ve got tidbits floating around for 2018 in my head.

For instance I know I’d like to lose another 10 pounds in 2018, firm up these jiggly thighs and continue conquering this tummy area.  I want to continue a healthier lifestyle for me and my family.

I have my handy spiral notebook with fresh clean pages ready to fill in.  I have notes jotted down and I’ve been reflecting on photographs from the past year. I’ve visited that Facebook post my cousin-in-law wrote months ago that inspired me to step up my game, and my new Garmin fitness tracker will be here today.  And last but not least I can’t forget my #keepmovin group of friends supporting me or my older brother, who until recently I could beat on our Samsung challenges to motivate me! (I will beat him again someday!) 🙂

 

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The photo on right: Jan. 2017  the photo on left is January 2018.  
This life isn’t just about the physical side of things.  It’s about the emotional side as well.  I have to take the time to process, in my own way, so I can find the empowerment to move forward physically.

Until next time,

Julie

 

P.S. If you have any good recipes that are low carb and low fat that do not include fish or turkey I would love them.  🙂