Bringing it Down – #11


DOWN with the D (2)

This post was to make it’s way published October 1st,  as you can tell I never did that.  I was busy and struggling to decide what I wanted to say. Here goes.

I know my eating isn’t exactly the way it should be.  Too many processed foods have entered the picture, or better yet my mouth on too many occasions.  My blood sugars are still really good.  I like to chalk that up to the walking routine and not over eating in most table settings.

I’d like to mention that there have been bouts of emotional stress during the past month.  Which was brought on by lack of sleep and quite possibly the depression that resides within me.  Although both should be manageable, at times they are not.

It’s just a cycle.  Lack of sleep or interrupted sleep = crankiness= eractic reactions=feelings of highs and major lows = eating mindlessly= feeling physically yucky = mental let down of oneself.

But come October 1st I found the determination to get on course and make some changes to my goals!  And so far so good!

I’m a visual person.  I like to actually SEE things to remind me and to really get the whole picture.  I am going back to a simple system.  I am using this calendar to log things daily. I still use my Garmin Connect and Samsung Health app but this is kept in my bathroom.

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I have started doing some indoor walking workouts from Leslie Sansone.  I am doing the ones that include hand weights. I feel at home with her if that makes sense, she doesn’t seem fake or pushy.   It’s not too hard either, although I know I walk faster doing her workouts than when alone outside. I know this is where a walking buddy would really help me when walking outdoors. Speed things up, if you know what I mean!

So my goals include the following:

10,000 steps 6 out of 7 days a week

Less processed foods intake.

Snack planning (meals too)

Strength training every other day.

Eat out no more than twice a week.

Look at my plate before starting to eat. Are vegetables half the plate?

 

That’s it. That’s where I am at.

Things I want to be able to look back in regards to  in this journey are….

I can feel a waist again. Just a little but it’s there.

The scale hovers at 199 and 200.   (Yes I really did just put my weight on the world wide web, it’s okay.  It’s a number.  Last month that drove me nuts, now it just makes me determined even more.  I want to be out of the 200’s and be far enough away to really celebrate it!

People are noticing a physical change.  I hope they notice the mental too. Thank you to those that have complimented me. It really is a help!

Winter is coming, that means my work is cut out for me.  It will be easy to be lazy, acknowledge the struggles and celebrate the successes, right!

It hasn’t been easy but in 10 months I’ve made a difference in ME.  I’ve moved forward.  I can continue this life change and in January when I meet with my diabetic educator feel proud of it all!

Until next time!

Julie

 

 

 

 

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Bringing It Down – #10


Below is the post I shared on my personal Facebook page today.  There is more I’ve felt, accomplished, failed at, and shared but this is a good start.  I’m proud of where I am and can feel that I need to step up a few more things in my life.  I hope you enjoy today’s post.

DOWN with the D (2)

58 days ago I was motivated by another individual and their social media post.  He motivated me to get myself out of the 8,000 steps a day mode and kick it up a notch.  I am grateful for him and his posts on various aspects of his life.
To hold myself accountable I decided to post daily and possibly motivate others.  I post my fitness tracker progress throughout the day in comments as well.

It has helped me a great deal to stay accountable and keep moving.  I’ve also received feedback and support from people.  Thank you to all of you that have helped me.

In those 58 days….

I have missed reaching my goal 10 out of 58 days.

I have bounced back from times of depression quicker than usual.

If I do not get 5,000 steps before noon I’m probably in trouble.

I have lost less than one pound.

Taking 3 small walks a day is better than no walks.

I have clothes that fit better.

I’ve been frustrated.

I have gained support from old friends.

I’ve ate better but still need improvement.

I realized sleep is essential, power naps are okay.

Sunrises are pretty spectacular here in Kansas.

My knees and leg have hurt and I wonder why I even try.

Stretching is a must for this lady.

I am the only person that can really make myself care about me.

My hip hurts more if I don’t walk often.

My feelings still get hurt but I probably don’t blow it out of proportion as much.

It’s social media, if someone doesn’t like your post, they can unfollow you or scroll by, just do your thing.

My process  and progress is slow.

Support is really great, but you don’t always have it.

My blood sugar numbers are super good on average!

Guilt within yourself can be a tool to motivate.

Walking to the corner of my road and back can give me 1500 to 2000 steps in no time.  Quick as that!

It’s okay to still eat yummy sweet stuff or carbs… just don’t overload.

Pay attention to you. Mindless living doesn’t work in my situation.

A little girl is watching my every move.

My process is just that.  Mine.

10,000

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Bringing It Down – #9


It’s interesting that I was finally able to share this series on Facebook.  I was at a point where I felt confident (for two seconds) to hit post, so I went with it a couple weeks ago.  I still haven’t done it on my personal page but over on our farm blog page I did it.

Some things happened that I had to change my series title and that threw me into a place of disarray.  I have now composed myself (to some degree).  After a day or two I gathered my running thoughts and emotions and got down to business.  Arranging and organizing and feeling more in control once again.

Balanced.                 That’s it.               Balanced is what I felt.

Instead of having FOCUS as my 2017 word  it should have been balance.  I’ve repeated it, in my mind so many times, over the course of this past eight months!  I should have it down! But occasionally I tip one way or another just a little too much and find myself in a frenzy.

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For example, today I wasn’t able to fit in the 30 minute walk before work I had planned. Due to circumstances out of my control!  BUT instead of letting my emotions get the best of me I took the time to sneak a 10 minute walk in.  The old me would have made up some excuse to just skip it.  Even though I already know my lunch hour will be filled with me eating out and running errands.  No real workout then either.

Here’s the deal, I’ve changed my brain somewhat, my thinking.  I know for a fact that if I do not get movement into my day my blood sugar will be higher and I will feel bad physically.  The movement keeps me in check and helps both mentally and physically.

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I did buy a package of donuts before walking, it was an emotional buy, no doubt.  This was not a good move BUT once again I turned a negative into a “not so negative” situation.  I only ate half the package.  I had already ate low sugar oatmeal for breakfast.  That’s like 25 carbs alone, and the donuts (half) were about the same.  Yes 45 is my target but this was a meal with not really much healthy carbs in my books.

I took my blood sugar and it came back 151.  target range for after meals is 140.  Do you know why it’s not as high as I predicted?

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THE WALKING!  A little 10 minute walk can make such a difference and this is what keeps me coming back.

Finding the balance.  That’s what works for me.  That’s what I want to continue for the rest of my life.  Not a strict diet plan or exercise regiment, but a balance that suits my life while benefitting my health.

Movement.  I still try to walk about 45 minutes daily 5 out of 7 days. My goal is 10,000 steps per day so it’s been more like 6 or 7 days out of a week to reach it.  I have started biking with my daughter.  It’s taking some getting used to but last night I went 14 minutes.  That’s pretty good for the lady that could hardly do 7 minutes the first time.

Diet.  I still am not counting my carbs necessarily for my meals. I am looking at the plate to visual and plan what I need it to look like.  I have been eating more “non-healthy” snacks of recent.  I am noticing the way I am feeling and need to back off this habit. Grocery shopping for September is right around the corner so planning is crucial.

Support. Here is where it’s has been extremely helpful for me.  I have two gal pals T & N that stay in daily contact with me to help me.  I hope I am doing enough to support them as well.  It has really helped me.  I also am doing some challenges through Samsung Health app and my Garmin Connect app.

The other daily thing I started about 30 some days ago is posting on my personal Facebook page.  I use a photo from my walks and add words. I have placed them all in an album together.  I write different things depending on my mood.  And there are days where I just do not want to “talk” so I write 10,000.  (I put that at the end of each post too.)

Throughout the day in comments I add a photo, normally of my Garmin Vivofit 3 showing my steps status.  I figure in a year my Facebook “ON THIS DAY” this will remind me where I was and where I am wanting to be.  It’s another tool in my motivational box of goodies.

Also I hope I inspire someone else.

But honestly, its mostly for myself.

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A selfie on that 10 minute walk!

 

Until next time,

Stay moving,

Julie

 

Bringing It Down – Diabetes #1


This post was held for publishing until I was over the six month mark of my health journey.  I had to feel mostly confident and positive progress before sharing.  In my life, too many times, I’ve started something only to feel I failed.  This time needed to be different and so far it is.  Six months was goal number one.

If you care to follow the series just subscribe to receive emails in the top left corner of this blog.

Those minor changes I mentioned in my 2017 word post began on January 3rd, but reality hit when I received the call about my A1C number in December. (Diabetes)  The reality of trying to fill my pain, grief, sadness, anger and lack of confidence  with food (and sedentary actions) has brought about a not so lovable thing.  Hold tight… more on that in a moment.

Those conversations I mentioned before in this post, well they were not life changing but they changed me enough to feel free.  It felt as though someone was finally listening to me and although in a quiet manner the results helped me take a baby step towards feeling less alone.  That tiny bit of support where I felt I could say out loud feelings I had felt ashamed of having , actually enabled me.

So now I will share with you in hopes that if you ever find yourself in a similar situation you know you aren’t alone.

But first a few things I need to get out.

  • I don’t completely understand why I was so affected by the death of my parents. Why it knocked me so far down.
    • It’s not like I was super close to either of them or saw them all the time. It’s not like I grew up in a cozy happy situation.
  • Okay, I do know one reason. It’s because  I’m out of time.
    • Out of time to ask those questions.  Ask the questions that make people uncomfortable and aren’t pretty.  The ones that could give me answers or explain why things happened to me.  Silence can be a killer in itself I think sometimes.
  • I loved them.
    • No matter what happened in life, I loved them.  They were the parents that created me. 
  • Why didn’t they take better care of themselves?
    • Who am I to talk, look where I am now.

That freeing I spoke of earlier, it came when I said out loud, to my spouse, the part about time running out to ask the questions. That was a turning point for me.

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This photo helped me move forward. Jan. 2017

All those words you just read were written a few month ago, but they still resonate with me.  They still bring forward to my mind that the path I am now on is one that is really important.  I’ve held off blogging about this part of my life for  fear of failure,  and afraid those that see me often will watch my plate each time I fill it. (like they have nothing else to do, right?)

I’m ready to share now.  Maybe it’s because I’ve met with my Diabetes Educator  a few times.   Actually,  it’s because I feel more in control then I have in a few years.  Whatever the reason I’m not going to force myself to journal but I will write when necessary about DOWN WITH THE D. In hopes that it will help others and yes even keep me on track for life.

Down with the D Series # 2 – 5 will be published soon.  Subscribe so you can read the next step in the series as at this moment I don’ t feel comfortable sharing on my personal social media pages.

Julie

 

 

 

Bringing It Down – Diabetes #2


Written early March 2017

When dealing with life changes, whether it’s in regards to eating, stopping a bad habit, starting therapy, stopping therapy, or whatever, it’s not an easy path.  Although I do believe a support system is essential it really comes down to the individual.  No one is going to move you forward, they might assist but ultimately you have to take that first step alone.  And that first step isn’t going to come until you are ready.

My first assistance was that blood test that showed my AC1 at 7.2 and the phone call from the doctor with options.  I chose the option to visit with a Diabetic Educator named Kathy.  I spent up until the day after my 46th birthday eating as I wanted.  I began logging food and trying my best from December 27th to January 3rd, then I met Kathy.

Kathy explained things in simple terms and allowed me to ask questions.  She allowed my spouse to ask questions and she even visited about my fears.  Tears fell because of the emotions I was feeling and she never made me feel bad for it.

I now take my blood sugar glucose tests at least 2 to 3 times a day. Once before meals and once two hours after eating.

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In the past couple months I’ve been on the high side emotionally, the frustrated, tantrum throwing, not to mention the low side.  You name it, I’ve probably felt it.  Kathy gave me just a few things to start out with.  45 grams of carbs per meal and 15 per snack.  Going in I knew I needed to expect less of myself.  That probably sounds odd but it’s true.  I have high expectations for myself and that can lead to me taking the long fall down to failing!

This time I wrote about moving into a different level of this journey.  I felt it needed to be shared because only writing about the good or positive moments isn’t reality or truth. I won’t hide in the goodness of life, the ugly is part of it.  Just have to choose how to deal with it.

Julie

Bringing It Down – Diabetes #3


April 2017

Three months in and I stopped.  I basically let it drift away by casually having a morsel or two then the entire item in front of me.  Yes, the 80/20 rule works but not for someone that has no willpower, is depleted by stress, tired, and most importantly on this new life change only a couple months.  Feel a lack of support was a factor too.

Here I am on April 4th, no weight loss in March, and I have a blood sugar hangover. Yesterday started as a new start to get back together.  It went very well most all the day and then at supper I failed.  Sweet potato fries, a few would be okay but too many no way!  Then the DQ ice cream cake from my daughter’s 9th birthday.  Those two things with a combination of whatever else few carbs I had throughout the day made my blood sugar increase.  Increase to the point of headache and me deciding to take the actual test.  154.  To some that may be a great number but to me that means WAY TOO HIGH.  An hour and half later 166.  It wasn’t showing any signs of backing down.  So I headed to bed thinking “what the he** Julie? Why did you do this?” It’s been a few weeks like this now and although stress and lack of sleep are factors, YOU chose to eat wrong a lot of the time!”

I’ve started my day by eating protein and  24 carbs, which I’m suppose to have 45.  It’s hard for me to get up to 45 at breakfast without going over.  I took an easy paced walk as the energy level and mindset is low.  Almost time to take my next test and then a snack.  15 carbs.   And on and on and on.

April 26, 2017

Most days have been better but still not a stellar way.   I am moving.  That is essential in this life with diabetes. I’m serious.  It helps so much even when I’m not actually walking or moving.  The issue I have is this.  When my blood sugar level is great, but  I don’t eat 45 grams of carbs, then go for a walk,  my blood sugar drops low.  And going from low up to way high is the worst feeling to me!   Balance.  That really is the key.  But since falling off in March I’m struggling with getting balance.

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Sleep. Sleep is just about as big a factor as moving.  I didn’t realize it until I stopped taking my anti-depressants in early March.  The one thing they did was knock me out overnight.  I did sleep well while on them but for various reasons have discontinued taking them.  For the most part I am doing okay off them except my “light sleeping” personality wakes too much in the night!  Then the bladder issue hits and up I go to bathroom.  SO, early bedtimes are essential and if a nap is needed I should do just that! Easier said than done on most days.  BUT, I am going to take this one step at a time, tackle one thing at a time.  If I don’t, I will fail.

So my focus is eating balanced.  Then moving.  Just keep moving.  Just keep moving!  Find some support somewhere too.  It has helped me to document via Snapchat with my two daughters and best friend.  I’m not sure they enjoy getting snaps of my walking logs but oh well.  They are getting them! 🙂

Until next time!

Julie

Bringing It Down – Diabetes #6


Written Mid- July 2017

I find myself realizing that just six months ago walking .83 of a mile took me 30 minutes or possibly more.  Today I am able to walk that same path in 18 to 20 minutes.  I’m no runner and I never want to be but I’m pretty proud of this.  I sometimes have to break my walks up throughout the day due to my schedule.  I feel bad when I look at my fitness tracker and see less than 4000 steps by 1:00 p.m.  But there are those days.  I’ve made some improvements in the physical part of my health, a ways to go but I’m headed in the right direction.

 

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This week I decided I might like to try riding a bike.  I have this old Schwinn bike that was my parents. I think it’s kinda cool.  But the tires on it are not made for country roads and with my balance issues it’s quite possible I’ll end up on the ground more often than not.  I’m hoping to try my husband or oldest daughter’s bike to decide if this is a new thing for me.  To see if the addition of bike riding will give me a little variety in life so to speak!  If all works with that adventure,  I might just have to trade my old Schwinn for a newer country road tire bike! 🙂

This week I noticed that when dining out I made good choices so to speak.  Did I still eat a hamburger and fries and even a chocolate shake.  Yes.  But the good choice for me was not picking the combo meal that had the largest size of those items.  I was enjoying my meal even though I didn’t stuff myself.  Then one evening my husband had brought home a piece of  homemade cherry pie.  (In his defense, he asked the diner if they had sugar free.)  I took about 3 bites and decided it was too sweet and I really didn’t want it.  Perhaps that was his plan all along……   🙂

One of the things I dislike is having my blood sugar level go too low, for a couple reasons.  I feel bad and then when I do eat it shoots up which causes other uncomfortable results.  So balance is really a key item in this game of controlling diabetes.  I can tell when my body reaches about 95 to 90, the too low symptoms begin to show.  If it makes it to 70 I need help!  But most of the time I keep it around 105 – 120 area before meals and after meals varies from 125 to 145 depending on what I eat.

I am still in the obese section for BMI.  I’m still in a size 18 and the scale hasn’t moved in a couple months.   I continue to love sweets and I do eat them.  The goodness for me is that I am taking the time to pay attention to my body.  I am sure if I had a trainer I would be even better off but that isn’t going to happen or the home chef.  Contentment with where I have come so far is important, moving forward is key as well but for now I’m okay with just settling into this new way.

Until next time,

Julie

Time. It’s time to get off the mediocre train~ Bringing It Down – Diabetes #7


July 15, 2017

I decided today was the day that I would begin to walk 10000 steps a day or at least 5 out of 7 days in a row. That although I want to sit at my sewing machine and finish the quilts that I’m currently working on I have to do this.

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I was inspired by a Facebook post of an extended family member, this guy is pretty motivational and is open about alot in his life, so he is genuine.  I’m grateful for his posts.  It reminded me that the results I’m longing for will not happen by me going extremely slow.  That writing of my journey isn’t enough.  I have to take the next level and grasp it.  I’ve been sitting in the same spot several months now.  That’s my fault.

Here’s where I remember that fighting for me is important.  Where the life we are dealt can be grimy and yucky and beautiful and joyous.  Collecting all those experiences and wrapping them into something of your own is yours for the taking.

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This morning wasn’t easy.  I jumped on my husband’s bike and could only ride 5 minutes. It absolutely was not easy.  But I made myself recall when I started walking.  How far I have come in  six months in that area.    Then I went for a walk in the Kansas humidity which I sweated like no other!  I’m telling myself I sweated out that lovely dessert I indulged in the night before! 🙂 The walk was for 45 minutes.  It wasn’t a fast pace but it was a good pace.

 

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I can’t figure out why for the last 2 wks my fitness tracker & phone are off so much! UGH!

At late morning I was over half way to my goal of 10,000 steps.  I can do this.  I have the power to move.  I have the power to make better choices.  My blood sugar wasn’t too low but it was on it’s way as I didn’t eat enough for breakfast.  I was so “in the zone” I forgot to grab some carbs when I returned from the bike ride!  But all ended well and I snacked after my shower.

Throughout the day I was up and down.  I kept an eye on the fitness tracker and phone.  One day.  That’s all today was.  But it was one day I hit my goal.

Do you have any goals you are working towards accomplishing?  How do you keep focused?

Until next time…

Julie

 

 

Bringing It Down – Diabetes #8


I realized yesterday morning that Down with the D could mean a couple things.   Diabetes or depression.  Both are in my life.

We traveled for our vacation to an area that enabled me to exercise daily, feel relaxed, and eat somewhat healthy.  We cooked most of our own meals.  I still got on the scale after returning and have decided I need a new scale.

View from the grass

I was motivated quite a bit before leaving for vacation and was determined to keep working towards my daily goals even while away from home.  I was successful and have been reaching my 10,000 step goal all but about one day a week.

Upon leaving beautiful Arkansas and heading towards one more stop before coming to rest at home I could feel anxiety entering my body.  The anxiety led to feeling in a funk and Monday I have felt quite “off” all day.  I do think some of it is from my blood sugars being consistantly on the lower side.   I need to find that balance again, so I feel good most all the time.

Tuesday morning brought more clarity but I am still feeling anxious at some moments.  The walk I took this morning has brought me more than 5000 steps and clearer mind.  Support from a new person came my way and I am utilizing it.

The battle of diabetes is one I am focusing on but the depression still shows up to the party on occasion.  It makes it’s prescense not necessarily by sad faces or tear. It carries the blame when snappy answers blurt from my mouth or the urge to scream erupts within me.  The expression of depression doesn’t take one route.  It is kind and spreads itself in many forms.

I have to admit it was probably a positive to get out with other people last night.  To listen to little kids singing and feeling a loof myself.  Perhaps that is what helped me to visit with my husband in a casual manner last night or  to awaken this morning so much easier.

Mother Daughter Hike

Coming off the high of being somewhere you truly enjoyed and  pulling this thing called life out of  time-out so to speak is hard.  Getting away can give one perspective on many levels and I think this trip did that for me.  The opportunity to realize, alittle more clearer, what I want out of this life I am living.

Until next time,

Julie

 

Bringing It Down – Diabetes #4


Written late June 2017

In May I didn’t track my food as well and to this day I am not logging it.  I’m depending on my mind.  The physical picture of what my plate should look like and the size of my snacks.  Including this with thinking about how my body feels is my go to. Remembering how I feel if I eat too many carbs in the next couple hours I keep near as well.  I still eat carbs and not always “good” ones but I’m confident in my abilities to judge my choices.

I think what made me get back on track is being put in a physically working environment. Our Kansas wheat harvest arrived around June 10th and my job was not in a cushy air-conditioned cab.  It was weighing grain trucks in the humid, hot Kansas sun. Weighing the trucks meant shoveling and sweeping grain into a pit.  So it wasn’t just sitting around. It kept my mind and body busy.  I wasn’t as hungry either, a little went a long way for me.

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If you are interested in learning about farm life go to our blog called farming grace daily

The work gave me the change and push to get back to moving more.  I am now walking and doing some challenges on my Samsung Health to motivate me.  I’m still sending my Snaps to my pals for support and moving forward.  It’s not been a perfect journey but it’s my journey.  I’m proud of where I am today but would like to move forward to better my health.

My sleep isn’t great but I just do what I can. Most days I don’t allow myself to sit at the computer or sewing machine too long.  A 15 minute walk can give someone a great deal of steps.  I’m still not at 10,000 most days but if I reach 8000 I’m happy.  I can do this and it’s not for a temporary time.  Accepting who I am, what I am doing, and where I am going is the game plan. Also having confidence in myself, that’s still a work in progress! 🙂

Down with the D #5 I will share in a couple days.  It will include my results from my six month checkup and how I  am dealing with that.

If you care to follow along just subscribe on the right side of this blog page.

Until next time!

Julie