Brightness


Today is a good day for me.  I feel like most of the time when I write here I find myself writing when the darkness has once again come to the forefront of my life.  Well today it’s pretty bright in my world! 🙂  Just yesterday was a so-s0 day, but I’m calling it good too!

Today while checking out my Facebook newsfeed, I clicked on the Katie Luther link.  I took the time to read the blog post and I’m glad I did.  It made me remember what difference it made for me when I did the Love Your Spouse challenge. (You might want to read my post before moving on).   I like the writer’s view about marriage and I can see the view of the one that she speaks about of course.

In dealing with my depression and losses in my life I don’t feel that keeping them completely out of the world’s sight is a good thing.  I know there are others struggling as well, it help them or me to share.  Yet part of me feels the shame of not being okay…yet.  It’s an ongoing struggle for now folks but let’s remember!  It’s a bright day for me today!

sunrise
Sunrise September 6, 2016

The past two years have been incredibly hard for not only me, but for my husband.  We still struggle with the things that were hard in the first few years of marriage. There are new issues which could include grief or financial or family struggles.  There are things that are coming from both our childhoods that make their appearance and neither one of us can figure out how to deal with them or react to the other spouse.  We have accomplished a great deal of things in our marriage as well.

Sharing isn’t horrible by any means.   Holding onto the issue, struggle, grief, etc forever and ever is.  I know several people, in my own family even, that can let go of the past easier than I.  Sometimes I feel they are the lucky ones.  But then I try to remember how far I have come already.  How the difficult path I’ve been on has brought about who I am.  That I have already beat a lot of demons that quietly reside within me.  I can feel proud of that.

brightness-darkness-grace
Julie September 6, 2016  Photo was taken for other blog to show how tall the irrigated corn is! 

The darkness comes and goes.  But today I’m celebrating taking my life back and soaking in the brightness of this life given to me.

Back to the love your spouse challenge thing, I participated in that challenge at one of my marriage’s lowest points.  It’s okay.  It helped, because I had to work really hard to remember what I appreciate about my spouse during a hard time.  I didn’t lie.  I meant every word I wrote on my Facebook newsfeed those seven days.  So.  Thank you my friend that challenged me it was a spot in the process of life!  It helped me and my spouse.

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My husband and I.

By the way, my spouse and I actually have several photos of just us but I realized in the past couple years we have taken less.  Probably because I haven’t felt good about me and many other things.  Perhaps I need to take a spouse selfie today! 🙂

Feel the brightness friends!  Don’t worry about when it’s going to go dim again!  Just feel the brightness!

Grace is a gift,

Julie

*My view is that the difficult moments in a person’s life do several things. But I’ve always said, “it builds character and strength.”

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Social Media /Compassion/ My Aha Moment


Social Media Facebook

As I sat this week with a small group of women our discussion was about compassion.  The topic of how social media has influenced things, specifically how people/women see themselves.  The pressure of scrolling through the news feed to see tons of images of slender, beautiful, perfect hair individuals. This hit close to my heart, because just that day I was struggling with my image.  You can read about it in my Weight-less Wednesday post but that’s not what I want to focus on today.

Today I want to focus on the Aha moment I had as my friend was talking.  The moment I started to feel a tinge of uncomfortable, the moment when I felt guilty.  Thinking back I had posted a ton of pictures and posts on Facebook that past week.  Especially over the weekend.  The pictures of my family, the good times, the uplifting moments, the fact that I was going to purge my house of the tons of stuff I have.

I will interject here and say, my friend had no clue how I was feeling, and to be honest I feel thankful for her bringing up this topic. Aha moments are beneficial usually.

There are 304 “friends” on my Facebook list.  I’m sure some of them have removed me from their newsfeed, I’ve done that too.  But that is still a large number of people, and in that group I bet there is at least a few of the following.

  • The couple that aren’t able to have children but long for one deeply.
  • The couple waiting to adopt, which is harder than hard.
  • The person that has lost a child to death.
  • The parent that has the child that can’t run, jump, see, or possibly hear and I have three that can.
  • The people that live paycheck to paycheck and struggle to put food on the table, but I have photos of our abundance at meal time.
  • The parent that has to work two jobs and isn’t able to read to their child nightly. They read my post about what we are reading right now.
  • The person that is not sure how to deal with  their child that has issues. The parent feeling like a failure, seeing and probably thinking from my posts and pictures I have it all together. (I do not by the way.)
  • The single person that wonders if they will ever find that person to spend their life with, all while seeing my shots of my spouse and I together.
  • The parent that wishes their child would call or visit them, and I am entertaining my oldest kids all the while.

There’s more I’m sure, but these come to the forefront of my mind.  I feel guilt for sharing the memories, the happiness, and yes even on occasion struggling moments on Facebook.

My Aha moment brought these questions. Am I showing compassion for those other people when I post my things on Facebook?  Am I showing off or being shallow?  There are friends that never post much and I wonder why they even have an account.  To each their own, I don’t mean to make any one feel less worthy, I just wonder.

This Aha moment has brought various things to my mind today. Things to ponder and things to decide.  Personally I love seeing photos of others lives, especially my grand kids and grand dogs.  I love that my friends that live far away can visit with me and see how life is for us.

But.  There’s always a but isn’t there?

Is social media bringing us together or is it really tearing us apart?

Grace is a gift,

Julie

 

 

 

Honesty Days


Honesty Days

 

It’s an honesty kind of day.  I’ve had random thoughts flowing through my head for this post the last two days.  I hope I can remember them!

1.  This getting healthy thing really blows when you can’t workout like you want and control your body!  Oh sure I can control my eating but how fun is that?  I mean really?

2.  I love kids. Really I do. But I truly believe God made me to be wired to only handle a certain amount of loudness.  I am extending gratitude to Him that my kids were 5 and 15 years apart in age.  I also am clapping in adoration to the mothers and fathers that have several kiddos especially little ones close in age.  You rock! And teachers and daycare providers deserve higher pay!

3.  Family. What can I say expect this. We love them like there is no tomorrow and yet we want to smack them sometimes as well.  I mean let’s be honest, they can drive us crazy.  They can hurt your feelings (and vice versa) but in the end all that matters is that you continue the journey down this thing called life side by side.  Never leaving the other behind or turning your back on them. I’m sure my family that reads this will feel the same about me! 🙂

4. Bologna boats.  Do you know what those are?  They are unhealthy but oh delish.  I remember eating them at lunch in grade school.  My daughter now has them too and loves them.  They are on our home menue this month.  If you don’t know what they are here goes.  Bologna, mashed potatoes next, and cheese on top.  Heated.  YUM!  I like fried bologna sandwiches too.

5. Sometimes I’m a really bad wife.  Seriously.  I’m a horrible example. That’s all I’m saying about that subject.

6. My mom, she has the green thumb and loves to garden. I was never really one to love it. I found myself in the yard yesterday and it wasn’t so bad.  I guess when the rest of my life slowed down I found new appreciations.

7.  School picture packets are evil. Seriously.  They come with these absolutely adorable photos of your kid that lure you in.  Then you flip the page and see the prices. A total racket.  Yep I’m probably going to fall for it.

8. My spouse’s side of the desk drives me nuts.  #pilesofpaper #needsorganization

9. So many people came to celebrate our youngest daughters birthday this weekend it was wonderful.  I felt so much love and I wasn’t even the birthday girl. (Thanks everyone!)

10. Gave up Facebook on the smartphone this week.  I uninstalled Facebook app and Page Manager app (for In Between the Sunsets of Life facebook page) and forgot to do Facebook Messenger.  Don’t worry, I did after I replied to one message sent last night!  Oh and to be honest, I can still go to Facebook on my chrome internet but I’m not.  🙂

SO!  Anything you want to share honestly with the world please comment or respond to what I’ve said! I love these Honesty Days it keeps me accountable and helps to remove it from my mind! Venting is good.

Grace is a gift,
Julie

Deleting Friends


Periodically over the past year I have thought about reducing my number of friends on my personal Facebook page.  I have a couple of friends that have recently announced on their status that they were going to go through their friend list and anyone that they removed, don’t be offended.  They wanted to retain their personal page for people they would have dinner or drinks with or even family/close friends that do not live near by to.   I’m thinking I’d like to follow their lead.  One of them directed them to her blog Facebook page, which I think I would do, as we have one for our other blog, In Between the Sunsets of Life.

I get a little uncomfortable when seriously thinking about doing this. I think, will someone I see in town or went to high school with be offended if I un-friend them? Or will it make me seem like a snob or too good for them.  That is far from the truth. I just would like to maintain the things I share in this area of my life to people I would tell face to face or over dinner about.  know a person can’t make everyone happy, and why am I even worried about Facebook?  I currently have 286 “friends”.

So have you ever whittled down your list?

How do you determine who you will be “friends” with on Facebook?

How would you feel if you were an acquaintance and you were unfriended?

Thanks for your input!  🙂

Grace is a gift,

Julie