Their Mother. A Mother.

I’m not even the one that became a first time mother but my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride this past week.  My middle daughter gave birth to a couple of beautiful boys. Although I am thrilled to grow the number of grandchildren I have, it was my job as mother that I felt so emotional about. In fact, I still am feeling it.


When I became a mother in 1988 I had no idea the impact it would have on my life.  The paths it would take me on, the pains I would feel or the joys I would treasure. I will assume that my daughter doesn’t either.

With my oldest two daughters the majority of their childhood I felt like I wasn’t a very good mother.  Looking back, the mentality of worry of just that subject was the only real thing that was a hinderance.  Somewhere along the lines I began to accept the type of mother I was, improve upon what I have learned, and go forth even if it ended in a mess. I’ve taken the knowledge I gained from raising the two older ones and am trying to do a better job with their little sister.  I’m far from perfect but you know what, that’s okay. I love each of my children and they know it. Them knowing it is key.

Motherhood changes as our children grow in their own lives. Twenty four years I’ve cared for, battled with, laughed with, and loved the woman who I call my second born.  It’s almost difficult for me to put into words the experience of watching her become a mother herself.  Actually each of my adult daughters have given me grandchildren and it’s a struggle to come up with the right words to describe  what the experience was like for me. Their mother.  It’s a treasure although filled with worry and excitement.  The child I called my own becoming something that I am.  A mother.


I guess what I’m trying to say is that becoming a grandmother once again was great, my mother instinct takes top slot though.  Perhaps it’s so prominent because of the type of relationship my daughter and I have.  Perhaps it’s because I know what her future looks like in a sense.  Perhaps it’s just that the caring nature within doesn’t stop.  I want to make sure she has what she needs now in both emotional and physical support.

Witnessing from a close distance my own children as mothers takes my breath away periodically.  On occasion I have to keep my mouth closed, sometimes I have to speak up. Sometimes it just means sweeping the floor or washing a dish or making a quilt or cuddling with one of the four grandchildren.  Whatever the need I hope they know I’m still here, even if they are mothers themselves. That as their mother, I’m still mothering. And although it’s not always easy, it’s still a pleasure.

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Thanks for stopping by!



The Story of Two and The Handwritten Letter

A long time ago there was a man.  A man of quiet like tendencies, loving the land all the while, but a missing part there was within his life.  He dreamed of taking a wife, a partner, a person to share with. Someone to help lessen that loneliness within.

He prayed for that someone.

Circumstances arose and come one day, after much waiting, he met a woman.  A woman who was as opposite as one could be from him yet he intrigued he was.  Simple gestures, simple words, his calm ways, all would overcome the heart of this woman. Her life filled with much more than simplicity, she became enamored by his presence with each passing day.

The hiccups in the relationship were present but their closeness grew after each time spent together.  Guiding the path wasn’t really these two, the Father of all was in control.  He took them down a path of questions, uncertainty, kindness, and pure sweetness.

A day came and the man received a handwritten letter in the mail.  After a long day working, he sat down to read it.  As he read this particular letter something came to him.  Something that would change his life, her life, and the way they thought the world would go for them.

He felt a rush in his chest and a change in his feelings and the following came to him.

He loved her. 

He truly was in love with this woman. Never feeling this before, he found himself happier than he could ever remember. No matter the things that cause strife, just knowing he loved her was enough.

As he shares this very personal reflection with her later, she finds herself full of glee!  For she knows this admission was not an easy one for this gentleman.  For many years she requests he tell the story over and over to her.  So she can feel the delight and never forget the gift that was given to her by him.

The love of a simple man.  The love of  someone who brought calmness, clarity, simplicity, and God further into her life.  The path they took had bumps and potholes and smoothness wrapped up with laughter and love.  They desire to have years together, they have hope, and they find grace in each day.

Their story isn’t over.  Still continuing, without  knowing what lies ahead, only that their love endures forever.

The Handwritten Letter Story
This story is husband approved by the way! 🙂

Grace is a gift,


1985-2015 -The Connection of 30 – Friendships

I realized the other night that come August I will have been friends with LG for 30 years.  That shocked me!  I’m not sure why as I’m 44 years old now and we met when we were freshmen in high school.


The day we met I was petrified.  I had moved from a town with a poplulation of 600 to a high school of 600 students.  Talk about fear-filled teenager!  As I walked into my Physical Science class I saw a red headed sweet looking gal.  I sat at the table for four and we became best friends.

Now she lives down the road and around the corner from me, funny how life turns out like that!

Right after realizing this momentous time in my life another amazing thought crossed my mind.  My good friend EK, well she was about six months old when I met LG in 1985.  I didn’t feel old but it did take me back for a moment.  My friend EK is wise for her age and I feel our bond has grown in the short time we have had together.

My relationship with each woman is special in it’s own way.  We have common interests and things that we can relate to.  For instance, LG and I have grown daughters, we are grandmas, and rocked the 80’s hair so very well! On the other hand EK and I share raising younger children currently, attend the same church and bible study, are stay at home mothers, and most recently Usborne books are high on our list of likes.

I’ve stated before how very fortunate I am to have many friends in my life.  Many good friends that support me in different aspects in my life.  They lift me up and hold my hand in times of need.  They laugh and cheer me on when I am venturing into the unknown, and yes they even tell me how it is when I need it.  My cup runneth over with friendships.  I am a better person for those that I call friend.

LG and EK haven’t met one another as of yet, but I’m sure in the future this will occur.  I’m also sure they will enjoy one another’s company and making new connections can be life changing.  When I think back to my friendships and how they began, most of them were through another friend introducing us.  So it’s the gift that keeps on giving! Friendship!


I hope your life is full of friendships and connections, for these bring memories, joys, and growth.  Take the time to introduce a friend to another friend today!  Share the love!
Grace is a gift,


Writing Prompts 3 – Best Thing About Being Partnered?

What is the best thing about being partnered?

I’m “partnered” by marriage.  I married my guy 12 years ago come April 12th.  There have been ups and downs as in every marriage.  There are things I loved about him back in the day that drives me nuts now (I’m sure he feels the same way).

I think the ultimate thing about being married is the fact that I am not alone.  I will have this person by my side till the end of one of our lives. Although, if he passed before me, I would miss him immensely. But our faith has taught us grand things about eternal life, so I have peace in my heart. I like to think of people as together.

I think having someone to go to sleep next to at night, share my ramblings and crazy desires with, raise a child with, and conquer new things with is a grand way to live.  We do not always agree, this is true, but being together makes things bearable and better and more fun.

He appreciates when I break out in song (off-key) in the car or kitchen, the way I will hold our seven-year old on my lap to listen intently to her, and how I will tell him to just buy whatever it is he needs but he won’t without prodding.

I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I had met my husband sooner in my life. How my life would be different.  Then I think to myself “those thoughts do not matter, the here and now does”.

Even our worse day together is better than no day together.

That wraps it up basically.



Grace is a gift,


What I Believe – A Few Things

What I Believe

  • That there is one true God.  He sent His son to die for both our sins.
  • That life in Kansas is better because of its wide open spaces and sunsets.
  • That the love of a good hearted, faith filled man can beat any sour moment in life.
  • That if you give yourself time and you truly let yourself be open up, you will find that thing you have longed for.
  • That saying no to a child isn’t wrong.
  • That if your life has solid, truthful, loving friends in it you can’t go wrong.
  • That each of us has a talent within us, but it might take a few tests to finally find it.
  • That a challenge in life will be hard to endure, but on the other side is something of true solitude.  You need to keep going even when you feel completely broken.
  • That brownies with pecans are a pure gift of deliciousness.
  • That you can’t trust everyone, but the ones you can keep close to you.
  • That hugging and kissing and telling children you love them isn’t wrong.
  • That losing parent in a manner that shown sickness can either break you or make you stronger.  Even the broken can be put back together through faith, love, and endurance.
  • That listening to a child begin their reading skills means you are witnessing a true treasure.
  • That God sometimes uses difficult circumstances to move us to a new place in life.
  • That watching my daughters be the women they need to be, when they need to be, and living a life with love of a man makes my heart glad.
  • That the day I walked down the aisle to my husband was the safest I have ever felt in this life.
  • That becoming a single mother at 17 wasn’t the end of the world but brought about a beautiful child.
  • That enduring hardships of teen life with two daughters didn’t kill me only made me stronger and I was taught much.
  • That adoption is truly something that is placed in this world to not only aid the children but to bring something more than words can say to parents.
  • That the gut feeling you have, most of the time, you need to go with it.
  • That praying small prayers throughout the day can get you through. Even on great days!
  • That memories were placed with us for both good and bad but a person can grow and become more even from the bad ones.
  • That you and I were placed here for reasons only God knows.  Follow His lead.

Grace is a gift,


Surprise In Long Relationships

Our oldest daughter is getting married in September, and so far I am enjoying helping her plan this  blessed event.  I am going to be honest, I figured when she did get married it would be a big affair.  That she would want  all the stops pulled out, but she isn’t like that at all.  She has chosen a lovely venue for the intimate very small ceremony and minimal decor for it.

Sometimes people you have known for your entire life can surprise you.  I find this to be a nice thing.  One that makes you remember why they are so special and how much fun it is to be with them.  Whether it’s a spouse, sibling, friend, or child when they bring a new view into your life let’s find the joy in it.  It seems to bring the best thing for both parties!

In fact, perhaps I should start surprising a few of them back!

Grace is a gift,



Yellow joy

Emotions that stir, Time passes on

Our family attended a wedding last night of a child our middle daughter’s age and her Mother is one of my friends.  As the bride and groom were at the front of the church together I found myself thinking, how beautiful and also how young!   No negativity here, just remembering back.  When I married the first time I was younger than these two, 19 years old.  Just a baby but I thought I knew everything! 🙂  I’m now 43 years old and am I wiser I like to think but still so much to learn.

The wedding decor was simple with just enough of rustic thrown in.  The bride in a beautiful gown with a simple veil and her lovely red hair pulled back.  Looking grown up yet so young to me.  Perhaps because I have a daughter the same age, or I’m just feeling old.  I recall when her and her brother came to live here.  They were adopted by my friend M. and her husband.  The bride was in the 5th grade, so literally half-grown coming to a new place.  M and I led a youth group at the time.  So the kiddos in youth group and I threw a welcome party for the kids! If I close my eyes I can still see them, both seeming so small to me, sitting on the couch opening some gifts.  Good memories, those kids were at most of the meetings thereafter.  You never would have thought they were adopted, because M and her husband truly love them with their whole hearts!  M and her husband were not young, they had grown boys of their own in adulthood, but it worked out fabulously.

As the bride danced with her Father at the reception, I looked away for second to see my husband and his little girl walking to the cake table holding hands.  The emotion that made it’s presence in my heart at that moment was bittersweet.  She’s six but before we know it, it could be her and him on the dance floor.  I think he too will struggle somewhat as is this bride’s father.  Of letting go of his little girl.  I look forward to that moment with strings of emotions pulling at my heart.  I know the days go by and we end up in a place and think “where did time go?”

So let’s do what we can to treasure the days we have with our children.  Let’s take lots of pictures, make them laugh from the bottom of their tummies, show them how two people really love and respect one another, and hold them tight while they will let us.  But let’s also know, when it is time. LET THEM GO.  It’s hard, I know, I’ve been there.  I know it won’t be any easier when my six-year-old gets there, but I must. It’s for a better relationship and I won’t be here forever.

My dear friends, if you have children or even with anyone, family or friends, reach out and touch base with them.  It might be just what they need.


Grace is a gift,