I realized yesterday morning that Down with the D could mean a couple things. Diabetes or depression. Both are in my life.
We traveled for our vacation to an area that enabled me to exercise daily, feel relaxed, and eat somewhat healthy. We cooked most of our own meals. I still got on the scale after returning and have decided I need a new scale.
I was motivated quite a bit before leaving for vacation and was determined to keep working towards my daily goals even while away from home. I was successful and have been reaching my 10,000 step goal all but about one day a week.
Upon leaving beautiful Arkansas and heading towards one more stop before coming to rest at home I could feel anxiety entering my body. The anxiety led to feeling in a funk and Monday I have felt quite “off” all day. I do think some of it is from my blood sugars being consistantly on the lower side. I need to find that balance again, so I feel good most all the time.
Tuesday morning brought more clarity but I am still feeling anxious at some moments. The walk I took this morning has brought me more than 5000 steps and clearer mind. Support from a new person came my way and I am utilizing it.
The battle of diabetes is one I am focusing on but the depression still shows up to the party on occasion. It makes it’s prescense not necessarily by sad faces or tear. It carries the blame when snappy answers blurt from my mouth or the urge to scream erupts within me. The expression of depression doesn’t take one route. It is kind and spreads itself in many forms.
I have to admit it was probably a positive to get out with other people last night. To listen to little kids singing and feeling a loof myself. Perhaps that is what helped me to visit with my husband in a casual manner last night or to awaken this morning so much easier.
Coming off the high of being somewhere you truly enjoyed and pulling this thing called life out of time-out so to speak is hard. Getting away can give one perspective on many levels and I think this trip did that for me. The opportunity to realize, alittle more clearer, what I want out of this life I am living.
Until next time,